Modes of Existence
by Katana Black
Summary: Cloud Strife: patient #0102. Squall Leonhart: the #1 psychologist at Edge Asylum. Sephiroth Crescent: the catalyst to it all. With such different modes of existence, can they ever learn to live together? AU, crossover, shonen ai, eventual yaoi, violence.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, I've made the decision to post this up here. I wasn't going to, but I figured people deserved to know part of the reason why I kept getting distracted from my other two multi-chaptered fics.

Warnings: AU, crossover with Kingdom Hearts and FF: VIII, shonen ai, eventual yaoi, violence; pairings: StrifeHart, SephiStrife, and (eventually) SephiStrifeHart. Don't like, don't read. Otherwise, enjoy!

* * *

He was a curious thing, patient #0102. Never spoke a word, ever; as a matter of fact, it was the reason he was in Edge Asylum in the first place. _"He just won't talk,"_ his mother had desperately cried when she dropped him off. That had been a year and a half ago, and things hadn't changed at all. Cloud Strife lay on his back, staring mindlessly at the blank ceiling, faintly thinking about how he couldn't even count the cracks if he wanted to—there were none. _Not a single crack in this whole damned place,_ he thought bitterly, _except for the patients here._ It was true; Edge Asylum was the premier facility on the whole continent, and Mrs. Strife would do no better for her only son.

_Don't worry, ma'am, your son will receive the best care possible. We'll fix him up and have him back to you in no time._

That had been a year and a half ago; Cloud had scoffed then, and still scoffed now. Fix him? He was never broken in the first place. The moment he set foot there he knew nothing would change, that he would stay the same until they decided they had wasted enough time and money on him, and either sent him home or had him transferred elsewhere. That was what he had firmly believed, until he met Dr. Leonhart.

If Strife was a curious patient, then Leonhart could be considered a curiouser doctor. To many of his peers, the sable-haired 25-year-old seemed as psychotic as some of his patients. Most speculated that he suffered from an array of disorders, ranging from the rather innocuous avoidant personality disorder up to the pointedly violent sadistic personality disorder. Despite their suspicions, however, he continually proved over and over again why he was one of the Asylum's greatest staff members: his patients had the highest recovery rate of everyone in the Asylum. Though his methods might have been a little unorthodox and perhaps even caustic at times, he was constantly assigned to deal with their severest patients. On a daily basis, he saw patients who were so damaged they were deemed no longer capable of function in society. Speaking of damaged...

"Saix, _please_ try to restrain yourself," Leon mumbled tiredly and tonelessly, moving slightly to the right and narrowly avoiding being hit in the head with a picture frame. He sighed. _There goes another one._

He had paged security almost ten minutes ago, and naturally, no one had come yet. Rising from his chair with a weary air, he vaulted over his desk, ducked under a wild punch, and grabbed Saix's fist, wrenching it behind his back and forcing him over the desk. The blue-haired patient twisted in his grasp, scratching at the surface of Leon's desk to be freed, but Leon held him down firmly, the corded muscles of his forearms flexing under the strain.

"Never fear, Reno is—shit, Leonhart, if I knew _this _was what you buzzed me up for, I'd have brought my handcuffs, too, yo," said the head of security as he burst through the door. The cocky red-head lifted his eyebrows at Leon, who only saw fit to give him a chilling glare.

"Just get over here and administer the sedative," he said, voice cold and emotionless.

"Touchy, touchy," said Reno. He shook his head, his long, red ponytail swishing over his shoulders. He stepped carefully around the broken glass on the floor, throwing a smirk at Leon as he approached the desk. Opening up his emergency kit, he took out a syringe filled with a clear liquid. Before Leon could complain any further, he expertly injected the needle into a vein in Saix's neck, and within seconds, he ceased struggling and fell limp against the desk.

Leon eased his weight off the man, allowing Reno to take Saix in his arms. For such a slender build, the tattooed nurse possessed surprising strength. "Later, doc," said Reno with a short nod, making his way out the door. He threw a wide grin at Cloud, who had been waiting outside the psychiatrist's door since before Reno had arrived.

"Later, Strife," he said, receiving a nod of acknowledgment from the blond before disappearing down the hallway.

Cloud watched after him for a few moments, a half-smile picking up his lips. He liked Reno. Reno was annoying and brash, but Leon hated him. And Cloud loved that.

He silently slipped inside Leon's office and sat on the couch, a serene smile on his face as he watched the brunet pick up the remains of his broken goods.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting," came the low voice of one rather pissed off doctor. Saix had broken one of his favorite picture frames this time, and left deep gouges in his brand new desk. He angrily dropped the broken pieces of wood into his garbage can with a dull clunk, glancing over at Cloud as he opened the closet door for a broom.

The two had long since accidentally come across a system of nonverbal communication. Leon had quickly realized that Cloud was a stubborn ass and would not speak, which was fine by him. Cloud had quickly realized that Leon was one of the few frigid bitches who really didn't care if he spoke, which was _not_ fine by him. Leon liked his silence. Leon was _happy_ with his silence. Leon probably got off on his silence. Simply for the fact that Leon was the person in charge of "fixing" him, Cloud did not want the man to be happy, much less sexually satisfied. In the space of two appointments, Dr. Leonhart had managed to break Cloud of his protective shell, blank stares, and absolute reluctance to communicate anything at all—all without saying more than 10 words.

So when he looked over to see Cloud grinning so widely his sparkling, blue eyes were narrow slits in his face, Leon knew exactly what the blond was saying: "_As long as you're unhappy, I would've waited forever, Dr. Leonhart._"

The shards of glass clinked together as the brunet brushed them into a dust pan. He could feel a few choice words threatening to spill from his lips—most of which involved the blond performing obscene and impossible sexual acts with his mother—but decided at the last moment that his job was worth more than whatever fleeting joy cussing out Strife would bring. He merely grunted in annoyance, tilted the dust pan into the garbage can, and returned his much used broom and pan to the closet.

Cloud watched with diminishing interest as Leon took his seat behind his desk and resumed his cold, professional air. When Leon finally asked, "Is there anything you wanted to talk about today?" Cloud had already laid back on the couch and begun to close his eyes. The required appointment was half an hour long; "required" by the hospital, not himself. While he was there, Cloud supposed, he might as well use his time to catch up on some much needed sleep.

Besides, Saix had done a pretty good job of wrecking Leon's day, so Cloud didn't feel so bad for slacking off on his self-imposed mission.

Leon impassively observed as Cloud made himself comfy in the couch, quietly rejoicing that the blue-eyed mute had chosen not to annoy the living shit out of him. With a small, rueful grin, he flipped open his cell phone to check his messages, taking an unofficial, though much needed, break.

_Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep._

...Or not. Leon sighed, pressing the heel of his palm to face as he unclipped his beeper from his belt. Yet another crisis in the cafeteria. Glorious.

"Cloud," he called out, "you'll have to come with me, or else you can go back to your room." He stood, striding over to the napping blond and nudging his shoulder.

Cloud dolefully opened his eyes and narrowed them at the sable-haired doctor. If there was anything he disliked more than the doctor himself, it was being interrupted by said doctor while he was napping. He arose from the couch, brushing past the doctor, about to leave the office.

"If you come with me, there's a good chance you'll get to see my day be completely and irredeemably ruined," commented Leon offhandedly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Cloud paused, turned, and raised an eyebrow at Leon. _Really, now?_

The doctor merely smirked and swept passed Cloud on his way out the door, noting as Cloud silently followed after him. At the back of his mind, though, he wondered why he was so insistent that the quiet blond go with him.


	2. Chapter 2

Cloud followed dutifully behind Dr. Leonhart as he strode down the hallways of the asylum, quickly arriving at the scene of the incident. "What's going on here?" Leon asked authoritatively, bursting through the double-doors to the cafeteria.

Immediately one of the nurses rushed up to him. "Leon," she said breathlessly, relief clear on her face, "I have no idea what happened. We were just giving him his medication, and then...this. He swung out at us when we tried to get any closer. He managed to hit Rinoa in the face." A dark look crossed her face; Rinoa was respected as the nicest nurse—no, the nicest _person_ in the entire building.

Leon glanced over to where the small blond (even smaller than Cloud, he noted mildly) sat curled into a ball on the floor. There was a clear circle around him, both staff and patients alike having the sense of mind to stay away from him. He nodded once, turning back to the nurse.

"Tifa, you and the others get the patients out of here," he said, motioning with one hand. The busty brunette nodded and turned, immediately ushering the other patients out through the side entrances.

Leon waited until the area was only populated by himself, the other staff members, and the crisis in the middle of the floor—and Cloud, he noted out of the corner of his eye. "Stay out of the way," he warned the stubborn blond, who merely gave him a level stare in return.

Leon turned towards the center of the floor, taking careful steps forward. "Roxas," he called out, "can you hear me?"

For a few seconds, the only reply he could hear were the ragged gasps and growls coming from the boy's mouth. And then, words: "Won't let you...s-stay away...from m-me..."

By virtue of being one of Leon's patients, Roxas Mikan was one of the more severe cases in the asylum. He had been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, and was often prone to episodes like this one, where he fought against the intrusion of his "other self." Sometimes, the kid would quietly excuse himself from public company, retreating to his room to deal with it there; other times, he wasn't so lucky. The episode would blindside him, leaving him much like he was now: agonized and unpredictably violent.

"Roxas, it's Dr. Leonhart," he called out soothingly, risking another couple of steps forward. Cloud watched the entire thing with intent eyes, not liking at all the way the smaller blond clutched desperately at his hair with one hand, the other wrapped around his stomach, muttering things under his breath. His eyes narrowed as still Leon pressed forward.

"Don't n-need you...away f-from me," stuttered Roxas, his eyes clenched shut as he shook his head. "Go _away."_

Leon hesitated, unsure of whether the words were meant for him or the voice in the boy's head. Still, he continued forward until he was only a foot away from him. "Roxas, let me help you," he said, squatting down to try to look the boy in the eye. "Talk to me."

Cloud noticed the slight shift in Roxas' position before anyone else. He didn't think; he just acted. Darting forward, he shoved Leon backwards, standing in his position as Roxas slashed out with a plastic knife. Cloud let loose a muted growl, heedless of the bleeding wound he now sustained on his upper thigh. The two blue-eyed blondes faced each other, Roxas with a bit less sanity in his eye than his taller, older opposition. The smaller of the two maintained a crouched position, glaring at Cloud even though his breath was ragged and came in pants. Cloud stood in a loose fighting stance, ready to take out the kid if it came down to it.

Leon didn't even register what had happened until he found himself lying on the ground, thrown there by the very same patient he had instructed to stay out of the way. Knowing he had to act fast before a legitimate fight broke out, he caught Tifa's eye over Cloud's shoulder, motioning for her to move in. Tifa nodded, and the large man standing next to her, one of the facility's security guards, rushed forward to hold Roxas in a tight two-armed grip.

The blond's eyes dilated as he fell into shock, but before he could even react to his new situation, Tifa dashed into the fray, jabbing a needle full of sedative into Roxas' neck. The boy fell limp in Rude's arms as the sedative worked its way through his system, bringing the entire encounter to a rather anti-climactic ending, in Cloud's opinion. He stood upright, folding his arms over his chest and frowning crossly. A part of him had been looking forward to tearing the little shit apart for trying to attack his Leon like that.

His eyes grew slightly wider at the thought—_his_ Leon. Before he could fully examine the logic behind such a random (and entirely untrue, he thought fiercely) idea, said doctor grabbed his arm, roughly spinning him around.

"I thought I told you to stay back," he said in a harsh tone, his gunmetal eyes flashing dangerously.

Cloud merely schooled his expression into one of boredom, quirking an eyebrow at the sable-haired doctor. _You did?_

Leon's own eyes narrowed in return, his lips curling into something that looked remarkably like a growl. Cloud instinctively wanted to step back, but Leon's firm hold on his arm prevented him. "Yes, I did," he said through gritted teeth, "and for good reason. Now you've sustained an injury, one that could have full well been prevented, had you taken it upon your stubborn, hard-headed self to listen to me for once in your goddamn life."

In that moment, Cloud couldn't help but feel like the doctor was overreacting. A tiny part of him even felt mildly offended at such harsh words. He wasn't stub—okay, maybe he was, just a little. But he certainly wasn't—alright, maybe he was hard-headed as well. But that didn't mean he was _stupid,_ which, if his tone was anything to go by, Leon clearly thought was true.

He raised both of his eyebrows, affecting a look of disbelief. After matching glares with Leon for a few seconds, he hazarded a glance downwards at his leg. See, it wasn't—oh.

"Yes, _oh_," said Leon, noting sudden loss of tension in Cloud's body. "It's much worse than you thought, isn't it." Just as the will to fight drained from Cloud's body, so did the anger drain from Leon. It wasn't that he was mad at the blond, per se, just frustrated that he hadn't listened, and gotten hurt for it. Of course, he would be just as concerned for any of his patients, or so he convinced himself.

With a long suffering sigh, he tugged on Cloud's arm. "Let's go," he said, pulling him towards the exit. "Tifa, Rude, see that Roxas gets back to his room and stays there until he's calmed down." The two nodded in agreement, carefully carrying Roxas back to his room in the opposite direction.

The walk back to Leon's office was quiet and subdued, neither of them saying anything at all. Leon pushed open his door, leading the blond over to the couch and gingerly lowering him down to sit. "Stay," he said sternly, pointing at Cloud with an assertive finger, "and I mean it."

Cloud briefly considered being defiant just for the hell of it, but one look at the expression on Leon's face made him think twice. Instead, he sullenly sat back into the cushion, focusing on the dull throb that had begun in his leg. Glancing down at it, Cloud realized how much force the kid must have put behind his strike in order to actually cut him. It was a little disconcerting.

Leon stepped behind his desk, rifling through the drawers for the emergency medical kit he always kept on hand. Removing it, he made his way back over to Cloud, setting the kit on the ground beside him as he sat on his knees. "This is going to hurt, but you need to stay still," he advised, unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up to his elbows. He pulled on a pair of latex gloves.

Cloud scoffed. What did Leon think he was, a five-year-old? He decided to express as much, leaning forward to give Leon a direct look of skepticism.

The brunet merely hummed in reply, pressing a hand against Cloud's chest to push him back against the couch. "Up," he said, hooking his fingers underneath the waistband of Cloud's light linen pants. His eyes flicked up to meet Cloud's bemused baby blues.

For the first time in almost two years, Cloud was sorely tempted to open his mouth and speak. So much so that he even opened his mouth, about to articulate his opinion. Instead, he let a broken laugh escape his lips, and gave Leon a look filled with as many sexual implications he could muster. His mouth curled into a smirk. _Not until the second date, honey._

Leon pressed his lips into a straight line. That hadn't been where his thoughts were headed—he needed to take off the blond's pants to address his wound—but now that Cloud brought it up, it was hard to ignore. "Very amusing, Cloud," he murmured. Still, even as he tugged again, Cloud lifted up his hips, keeping his eyes trained on Leon the whole time. The brunet could feel the intensity of Cloud's stare as he carefully pulled down his pants inch by inch, trying not to agitate his injury any further, to reveal baby pink plaid boxers.

His eyes shot up to Cloud's. The blond cocked his head, a lopsided grin on his face. _I thought you might like them._

Leon shook his head, a smile playing across his own lips. "Whatever," he said. He rolled up the left leg of Cloud's boxers, meticulously picking it up and away from the grieved site. As he probed the laceration, searching for any foreign objects, he couldn't help but notice how smooth and previously unblemished the skin was. With a frown, he thought about the scar he knew this would leave. The cut wasn't deep enough to require stitches, but it would be a few days before it completely scabbed over.

With curious eyes, Cloud watched as Leon gently ran his fingers over his leg, pushing lightly every once in a while. It was almost charming, the care Leon showed now, in such contrast to his usually stoic and distant demeanor. He abruptly toed Leon in the side with his good leg, nodding his head towards his injury.

Leon looked up again. "Impatient," he muttered, slapping Cloud's foot away with the back of his hand. He tore open an alcohol prep pad, voicing a quick warning before pressing the cloth to the blond's leg. Leon noted, with a sense of pride for the blond, that he only flinched once during the entire two minutes he spent cleaning the wound, and stayed perfectly still for the remainder of the dressing. After slathering on the antibiotic ointment, covering the wound with a gauze pad, and firmly taping over it, Leon smoothed his hands over Cloud's leg before letting them linger a moment longer than he should have.

Cloud noticed, and his expression softened. Reaching out with his right hand, he tugged on Leon's chocolate locks until the brunet looked up to him. He gingerly brushed the back of his hand against Leon's cheek, the motion completely at odds with the stern look he administered. _Don't feel guilty for any of this—it wasn't your fault—but thanks for taking care of me._

Leon glanced to the side, leaning away from Cloud's touch. "If you had listened to me in the first place," he grumbled, pulling Cloud's pants up to their proper height and rising gracefully from his knees. He turned around and strode towards his desk, peeling the dirtied gloves away from his hands and throwing them away. Cloud merely sat silently, awaiting the doctor's next command.

After a few moments passed in silence where Leon returned his medical supplies to the drawer in which they belonged, he glanced up towards Cloud. Still sitting there. Staring at him intently. Leon sighed.

"You can go, you know," he said plaintively, raising an eyebrow. "I'm positive you have better things to do with your time than stare at my handsome face all day."

This elicited an immediate snort from Cloud, though which part of his statement the blond was reacting to, Leon couldn't tell. In all honesty, there probably wasn't much else for Cloud to do besides stare at him all day. It was probably the highlight of his day, or so Leon liked to think. Wait—that had come out entirely wrong—

Cloud watched with interest as ghosts of various emotions flittered over the brunet's face, from annoyance to smugness, to confusion, and finally settling on resignation. It was interesting to watch, much more interesting than the cold white ceiling of his bedroom. Leon didn't know how wrong he'd been; Cloud really had absolutely nothing better to do than observe his handsome face all day. No—not his _handsome_ face, just his face in general, because it was better than counting specks of dust in the air. Handsome had nothing to do with it.

He could feel his cheeks heating up and lowered his eyes, fighting to control the blush. Leon watched curiously, intent on teasing Cloud for the faint coloring he could see on the other man's face. The buzz of his cell phone receiving a text message distracted him, and as he glanced downward to remove the phone from his pocket, he heard a slight breeze of air, and the creaking of his office door. When he hastily looked up, the blond was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Cloud took his time walking back to his room, the cool linoleum on his feet a sharp contrast to the dull warmth of the cut on his leg. He adjusted his pants as he went, still feeling the phantom touch of Dr. Leonhart's fingers on his waist, the subtle probe of his hands on his legs. He would have to get rid of the pants as soon as he got back to his room. It didn't make a difference; he had fifty other pairs just like it in a drawer.

He walked with a slight limp, trying not to put as much pressure on his injury, as minor as it was. The hallways were mostly empty in the early evening, most of the patients either outside or in one of the common lounges. Cloud liked it that way, though. He preferred not to endure the company of his fellow inmates. Most of them weren't worth the trouble anyway.

Taking a quick turn, he exited the main building through a side door, making his way through the central courtyard. It was a nice place to sit and reflect, Cloud found, especially on a particular bench in the corner near the pond. It was his personal place; he like to sit there and stare at his reflection in the rippling water, wondering when and where everything had gone so terribly wrong. More often than not, it was unoccupied, as if it were waiting just for his arrival. Not today.

"Cloud-o," called out Axel Atsui, a strange man who had been committed on multiple charges of arson. The pyromaniac had been single-handedly responsible for fires that caused at least three separate deaths. His lack of remorse for any of them landed him an indeterminate sentence in Edge Asylum.

It wasn't that Cloud disliked the red-head. As a matter of fact, he was more tolerable than Cloud would have expected. Around others, he was loud, cheeky, and obnoxious to hell. But alone, when it was just the two of them, or sometimes when he watched him with Roxas (the name crossed his mind with a bit of animosity), he was much different. Subdued, and almost caring in a way. And he was one of the few people who didn't try to prod him into conversation every five seconds.

He took a seat next to him on the bench, sitting in the corner and allowing his legs to stretch out before him. Axel was playing with a lighter—no doubt stolen from one of the nurses. It amazed Cloud that the red-head managed to get away with so much at the asylum. He really was a sneaky bastard.

"Dunno if you heard, but Rox had another episode today," he said in a muted voice, staring fixedly at the flame of the lighter. His fingers danced playfully over the heat. "Apparently, he managed to hurt someone. They wouldn't even let me go see him." He glanced over at Cloud, who sat motionless, and notice the bloodied tear in his pants. His eyes widened in realization.

"Shit, man, don't tell me it was you," he breathed. The corner of his lips picked up in a smile. "Wait, let me guess—feisty little Roxie was about to take down one of the nurses and you, ever the hero, stepped in to save the day."

Axel's attempt at humour was met with a flat stare and thinned lips. Unlike Dr. Leonhart, Axel hadn't managed to earn the right to frivolous conversation yet. Still, the red-head laughed just the same as if Cloud had said something aloud. "Ah, Cloud-o, you slay me," he wheezed between chuckles. "So noble, yet so modest."

Cloud was sorely tempted to roll his eyes, but the pyromaniac fell silent after that, leaving Cloud to his own thoughts. In truth, Axel's words were closer than he realized. True, Cloud hadn't stepped in to save a nurse—but a doctor was close enough, wasn't it? And in any case, it wasn't even a conscious reaction, just instinct. Anyone else in his position would have done the same.

But if that were true, then why did Cloud get the feeling that his doctor was getting completely under his skin? He even looked forward to their weekly meetings, if for nothing else than to break the monotony of life in the asylum. Ticking off the doctor was his favorite form of entertainment, and although the man might think otherwise, it was never with ill intent. Okay, maybe once or twice—or five times. Still, even if it was just that, he'd communicated more with the man in the past year and a half than he had with his mother his whole life. Something about Leonhart evoked a feeling of camaraderie, of trust. Although, Cloud supposed, that was probably part of his job, or at least why he entered the profession in the first place. Cloud doubted it had anything to do with the man himself; Leon was far too antisocial to intentionally pursue anything that resembled friendship, especially with his patients.

Friendship. It reminded Cloud of...no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't forget. It still haunted him, even after all the passed years. The betrayal, the hurt—it never faded with time. He could still see Zack's brilliant smile, hear his lighthearted laugh; he could almost feel Sephiroth's infinitely gently caress on his skin. If he wanted to, he could make it seem like it was only yesterday that the three of them were best friends. The occasions when they went out on double-dates—him and Sephiroth, along with Zack and the love of his life, Aerith—could feel like they were last night instead of last lifetime. If he wanted to, he could even blot out those terrible events that ruined his life forever.

A chilly wind blew by, ruffling Cloud's hair and reminding him of where he was—reminding him of the truth. Edge Asylum, his official permanent residence for the past year and a half. Patient #0102. Admitted after refusing to speak for a month, for reasons unknown.

Reasons which, if he had his way, would stay unknown.

He felt Axel shifting near his feet. "Well, Cloud-o, thanks for the riveting company, but I'm gonna see if they'll let me see Rox now," Axel said, his tone completely genuine, and the pyromaniac pulled himself to his feet. He gave Cloud a quick salute before tucking his hands in his pockets and strolling away, leaving the blond alone.

Cloud blinked as he looked around himself, noticing that the sky had gotten significantly darker since he'd sat down. His guess was that a couple of hours had passed while he was lost in his thoughts. Enough time for him to head back to his room—_or, at least, to the cafeteria_, he though as his stomach growled. His bones popped as he stretched his arms and torso, swinging his legs to the ground. He stood and walked back towards the building, his legs feeling stiff from sitting for so long. A warm shower sounded really great.

He entered the building, turning down the hallway in the direction of the cafeteria, and was surprised to run into Dr. Leonhart. Literally.

Leon's hands automatically came up to hold Cloud by the shoulders. "Cloud," he said, his voice distracted as he glanced over the blond's shoulder. "Sorry. I'm kind of in a rush right now," he said by way of explanation, before hurrying past Cloud.

_Well, hell._ It seemed that wherever his favorite doctor was off to was much more interesting than the cafeteria, so Cloud promptly changed his course to follow him.

Leon could see out of the corner of his eye that Cloud was following him yet again, and he resisted the urge to sigh. "Cloud," he said, "you really cannot follow me this time. I have to meet with a new patient." A patient, he'd been told, who had a particularly violent history. Apparently, he'd been convicted of 14 murders which took place over the course of five years, and, according to his file, "would have continued, had I not grown bored of the chase." Having Cloud around Roxas was one thing; this guy was much more dangerous, and Leon couldn't predict his behaviors. Either of them: the new guy, or the much more troublesome Cloud.

Still, Cloud kept close to his heels, despite his stern warning. Biting back a growl, he stopped in his tracks, spinning around to face Cloud. "Cloud," he said, "go."

Cloud merely looked at him with wide eyes, his head tilted to the side.

Leon dragged a hand over his face, and then threw his hands in the air, muttering darkly to himself. The pair made their way to the front desk, where the receptionist directed Leon into a private holding room. Cloud hung back, doodling on the sign-in sheet on the desk until the receptionist pinned him with an icy glare. He stared back at her, giving her his best glare until she eventually turned away to busy herself. A smirk lifted his lips.

Glancing to the side, he could see Leonhart's figure moving about the room, but he couldn't see anything else. He wondered idly about the new patient. Would he be like Axel, annoying, but someone he could pass time with in a facsimile of friendship? Or would he be more like Saïx, who was simply out of control and probably more suited to living in a zoo? Maybe he would be—

Cloud's pointless musing was cut short as the door swung open. For a moment, all he could see was the open door, and Leon's hand on the knob. And then _he_ walked out from the room, still as graceful and beautiful and captivating as he remembered, and it took Cloud's breath away.

As he stalked (for that was the only way Cloud could describe the way he moved, always like a predator after his prey) closer to him, his breath returned in the form of short gasps. He felt like his whole body was collapsing in on itself, like the very air surrounding him had turned into a relentless vice, trying to crush him out of existence. His hands, his arms, his whole body went numb as he turned to him, his cattish, green eyes glittering with amusement and malice, and a mirthless grin stretched over his lips, lips Cloud knew too well.

"Good to see you...Cloud."

It was as if his voice, so silky and deep, was the catalyst to some disastrous reaction within Cloud. He heard himself gasp, a shrill, raspy, whining noise; he heard Leon shout his name, alarm clear in his tone; he could feel himself slide to the ground, unable to stand on boneless legs. But it was all as if it were happening to someone else, not him—he didn't think he'd be able to bear it if it were him. As the darkness closed in on his mind and strong hands handled his body, only one thought made it through the fried circuits of his mind.

_He found me...Sephiroth._


	4. Chapter 4

Leon felt panic grip him as he caught sight of Cloud struggling to take in oxygen. "Shit," he swore, hustling out of the room. "_Cloud!_"

The shout tore from his lips as he watched Cloud slump to the ground, his eyes wide but unseeing, his lips parted in a pant. He knelt beside the blond, cautiously wrapping his arms around the man's shoulders and under his legs, hoisting him up from the ground as he passed out. Aiming a glare at the new patient—Sephiroth, if he remembered correctly, he issued his command. "Get him out of here," he growled to nurse who had been in the holding room with them, "and I don't want to see him within 100 feet of Cloud. _Ever_."

With that, he stormed away, uncaring of the stares that drilled into his back as he entered the elevator. His only concern was for Cloud's safety, and the blond obviously didn't feel very safe in the presence of the silver-haired murderer. While a terrifyingly rational part of his mind knew that the man had everything to do with Cloud's fragile condition, Leon shuddered to think exactly how. Sephiroth boasted an extensive and gory crime sheet, any number of which would be traumatizing to even hear about in great detail. To think, the unconscious man in his arms might have been witness to one, or worse.

When the elevator arrived on the third floor and the doors opened, Leon turned down the hallway where Cloud lived, ignoring the shocked looks on faces as he hurried past. He knew Cloud's room by heart: end of the hallway, second to last door on the left. He pushed open the door easily—none of the patients' rooms locked, for safety reasons—flipped on the light switch with some difficulty, and brought Cloud into the blessedly empty sanctuary of his own room. The blond was lucky enough to occupy a single, after having been given the diagnosis of "unable to live in close quarters with other patients without exhibiting violent behavior." It had taken exactly three roommates before that decision was made. Leon had, at the time, commended Cloud on his crafty acting skills and subtle manipulation of the system.

He gingerly lowered Cloud to his bed, disliking the complete lack of response. Keeping a finger on Cloud's pulse, Leon took in the blond's mottled appearance, his cheeks stained red but the rest of him pale and clammy. Thick, golden lashes rested against his face, his lips still open, affording Leon a fleeting glimpse of his pert, pink tongue. Leon moved his hand from Cloud's pulse to his jaw, tenderly brushing his thumb over the swell of Cloud's cheekbone. He exhaled softly and backed away, heading into the private toilet room. Turning on the light and then the sink, Leon dampened a washcloth, his actions quick and efficient. He shut off the water, the tap squeaking in protest, hit the lights, and made his way back to Cloud, dragging over a chair to sit by his side.

What he was doing went completely against his practice, both personal and professional. Not only was it illegal to be involved with a patient, but Leon made a point of never becoming too close with his patients, only ever establishing the necessary relationship. He simply never found it worth his time to endeavor to be _friends_; it wasn't his job to be _friends_ with people.

Leon pressed the cloth to Cloud's forehead, dabbing at the cold sweat that had broken out there. The blond's brow furrowed for a moment, and then he leaned into the cool touch, shifting to lay on his side. Leon moved his hand to pat down the side of Cloud's face, folding the cloth and setting it on the night-table after the man's flush died down. His eyes remained captivated on the blond's face, almost as if he were in a trance. Cloud was an anomaly; for someone who had never spoken a single word to him, Cloud was one of the most fascinating men he'd ever known. Then again, it could have been the very nature of Cloud's silence that intrigued him so. In a strictly professional sense, of course.

But even outside of their patient/psychiatrist relationship, Leon genuinely enjoyed Cloud's company. Ironically, he was one of the few people who didn't prod him constantly or try to fill the silence with meaningless words. With Cloud, the silence was comfortable, a welcome respite from the overly talkative world.

Under current circumstances, however, Cloud's silence was more of a nuisance than a pleasure. Leon could hope that the evening's incident would drive the blond to speak about what troubled him, but he knew how stubborn the blond was. He would more likely than not try to ignore this and continue with business as usual. Leon gazed down the length of Cloud's sleeping form, satisfactorily noting the regular rise and fall of his chest. His eyes passed over Cloud's injured leg, striking in him the idea to get rid of the bloody garments covering it. The brunet chewed thoughtfully on his lip before decided that Cloud would probably appreciate waking up in clean clothes.

Gingerly shifting the blond so that he lay on his back instead of his side, Leon carefully tucking his fingers into the waistband of Cloud's pants, glancing up at his face to make sure he was truly asleep. With care he normally wouldn't have bothered to take, he pulled the torn pants down Cloud's legs, wadded them into a ball, and tossed them at the end of the bed. Pausing in his motions for a moment, he looked to Cloud's face again, wondering what the blond would say were he awake.

_Nothing, _Leon answered himself mockingly. Perhaps he wouldn't say anything explicitly, but Leon knew the blond would most certainly make his opinion known in some way. A slight quirk of his lips, an eyebrow raised in amusement—body language spoke much louder than words, anyway. With a small grin on his own lips, he hooked his fingers around the waistband of Cloud's boxers, pulling them off as well and sending them in the same direction as the pants.

The first part of his task completed, Leon stood and surveyed his handiwork, which, incidentally, only amounted to Cloud half-naked in his bed. Somehow, it didn't seem right to Leon to leave the blond half-dressed in dirty clothes, and, in a professional sense, it just wasn't very cleanly, especially since the blond was sporting a fresh injury. So Leon made the decision, based on his expert opinion, to remove the blond's shirt as well.

It was a bit more complicated than the removal of pants, but Leon managed it on his own. Lifting Cloud's arms and arranging them to they rested over his head, the brunet then tugged the shirt upwards and off the blond's body, leaving him properly in the nude against the sheets. Letting his gaze linger for only a moment too long, Leon took the sullied clothes and placed them in a hamper in the corner of the room. Then he made his way over to the dresser, opening it as quietly as he could and pulling out a pair of sleeping pants for the blond. He made his back to the bed beside Cloud, once again allowing his eyes to roam the length of the blond's form, before bunching up the pants and guiding them over Cloud's feet. Inch by inch, he drew the pants up the blond's lower half, until he was appropriately covered.

He looked much better, in Leon's opinion, with a fresh pair of pants on his body, ones lacking the blood stains and rips. It was an improved sight from the Cloud who reacted so overwhelmingly to Sephiroth's presence almost half an hour ago. He lifted the light comforter over Cloud's body, tucking it around his arms, and turned to leave. But a small part of Leon's heart was loathe to do so.


	5. Chapter 5

With a violent gasp and wide eyes, Cloud awoke from his fitful sleep, gasping for air and clutching at his sheets. The rush of reality was almost too much to bear as it mixed with the remnants of his nightmare. Because that's all it was, right? Just another nightmare where Sephiroth's madly grinning face beckoned to him with honey-sweet words that disguised the terrifying monster underneath. Another nightmare that left his heart pounding mercilessly in his chest, his pulse racing like the way he wanted to run from that cattish gaze.

He shut his eyes tight and rubbed at his face, opening them again to confirm that yes, he was still in his room at Edge Asylum, safely tucked within its pristine and perfect walls. A hand climbed into his hair, tugging lightly at the strands as Cloud tried to fully wake himself up. He leaned back against the headboard, staring at nothing in particular as he tried to work through his emotions—which, for the most part, consisted of him trying to find other things to think about besides _him_.

Cloud's stomach rumbled loudly in the complete silence of the room, reminding Cloud of how hungry he was. A tiny frown bent his lips out of shape. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd eaten. What happened to dinner? The last thing he remembered was going outside and chatting with Axel, and then—and then his stomach had rumbled, and he decided to go for dinner. But why—

His thought process screeched to a halt as Cloud realized what his fingers were unconsciously doing. Of course, it wasn't so much the act of rubbing his nipple that made Cloud pause, but the very fact that he was able to do it at all. One thing Cloud never did was go to bed without wearing a top and bottom; he was certain that even if he couldn't remember what he had for dinner, he would remember to put on clothes before he went to bed. It was one of those lessons he'd learned the hard way never to forget.

He glanced down and felt across his bare chest, alarmed at the lack of shirt there. If he was shirtless, then—

In a hasty panic, Cloud pulled the covers over his head, staring at his legs. Hmm. Pants, but...he carefully picked at the waistband to his pants, and blanched.

"Cloud?"

With a small, nearly inaudible gasp, Cloud scrambled to pull to sheets from his head to see who had intruded on his private space so early in the morning. Oh.

Dr. Leonhart had knocked on the door as manners dictated, but upon receiving no response, he decided to walk in anyway. The sight that greeted him was...to say the least, unusual. He stepped into the room with an eyebrow raised towards Cloud, unable to even find the words to voice his question. A light blush dusted across the blond's cheeks for a moment before his eyes narrowed.

"I brought you breakfast," said Leon slowly. Cloud's eyes snapped to the tray in Leon's hand, with a plate, a bowl of fruits, and a glass of orange juice on it. His stomach gurgled again, much to Cloud's dismay, rather audibly.

Leon chuckled and moved across the room to place the tray on Cloud's bedside table. He made to sit in the chair pulled up next to Cloud's bed, intent on having an early morning conversation with the man, but Cloud was having none of it. His arms were folded against his chest as he glared at Leon. The brunet froze in his seat, noting the odd look on Cloud's face. "What?" he asked.

Cloud ramped up the wattage in his glare, narrowing his eyes until they were merely slits in his face. _What the hell do you mean, "what."_

Leon's face took on a quizzical look. "Contrary to popular belief, I can't read your mind, Cloud," said Leon tersely. "I can't know what's wrong unless—"

Cloud let out a soft growl, sorely tempted to simply pull down his pants in order to get his point across. Instead, he lifted himself off the bed in a flurry of sheets and stomped over to his dresser, fishing through one of the drawers. When he finally found what he was looking for, he flung the article of clothing in Leon's face.

Leon's hands rose too late, and the pair of boxers Cloud threw at him draped over his eyes. He picked them off his face, realizing what they were and what Cloud was so upset over. "Oh," he said simply in response to Cloud's akimbo stance. "Your clothes were ripped and bloody, so I changed them."

Cloud's mind was a whirlwind of emotions. Leon had seen him naked, and had been alone in a darkened room with his naked body. Even more disturbing, why had Leon needed to undress Cloud in the first place? Suspicion and confusion quickly won the battle on Cloud's face, and Leon noticed.

"Cloud," Leon started, his voice soft. The blond continued edging closer to the door.

"Cloud," he repeated, this time more firm. "Sit down. We need to talk."

Cloud raised an eyebrow. _Is this a professional or personal thing?_

"I'm telling you to sit down as your psychologist, Cloud. This is extremely important to your well-being, regardless of whether or not you want to acknowledge it," Leon said, folding his own arms over his chest. The image of Cloud utterly terrified was still stuck in his mind.

Cloud contemplated the doctor for a moment, finally deciding to crawl back into bed. He sat with his legs drawn up to his chest, his chin resting on his knees and staring resolutely straight ahead. He would listen, but he would be as petulant as possible about it.

Leon sighed, choosing to get to the heart of the matter as quickly as possible. "Who is Sephiroth to you, Cloud?" he asked gently.

Cloud's head whipped up to stare at Leon, no small amount of mistrust and anger lighting in his eyes. How on Earth did Leon know about Sephiroth? He had never told anyone in the asylum about him, and there was no way it was in his file.

Leon saw the confusion in Cloud's face, and sighed. Temporary amnesia was very common in these cases, however inconvenient. "What's the last thing you remember from last night, Cloud?"

When the blond only continued to stare at him, Leon rubbed his hand over his face, disliking the route he was about to take, but knowing it was the only way to get through to the blond. "He's here, Cloud," he said quietly, keeping his eye on Cloud's, "Sephiroth was admitted to the asylum yesterday. A judge sentenced him to an indefinite sentence after he was arrested for..." His voice trailed off as he noticed the growing distance in Cloud's eyes.

Cloud couldn't believe what he was hearing. Leon was telling him that Sephiroth was there. If that was true, then...then the nightmare was real. All of it, those eyes, that soul-wrenching feeling that he'd never know joy again, the clawing panic—it was all real? And he had thought he was safe; Cloud had thought he was finally in a place where Sephiroth couldn't reach him.

The back of his hand rose to cover his mouth as Cloud felt bile rising in his throat. He jumped out of the bed and ran for the bathroom, making it just in time to kneel over to toilet and empty out his mostly empty stomach. He could barely make out the murmur of Leon's voice, only dimly aware of his warm presence beside him.

Leon had tried to call out to Cloud but was only able to rush after him into the bathroom, smoothing his hair back from his forehead as he threw up into the toilet bowl. His heart beat faster in his chest as he watched the blond continue to dry heave, even after the contents of his stomach were nonexistent. He kept on hand in Cloud's hair, using the other to rub soothing circles against the blond's back.

"Cloud," he said finally as the retching noises stopped. "Are you relatively okay? Physically, I mean." Leon winced, knowing that there was no way the blond was feeling in any way 'okay,' but feeling the need to ask anyway.

Cloud hung over the toilet, the scent of his bile making him want to gag again. He reached up with one hand to flush the toilet, pushing back against Leon's hand to sit on the cold tile. Was he okay? What the fuck kind of question was that? But Cloud understood where the doctor was coming from, and nodded his head as slightly as he could. He pushed himself backwards until his back hit the wall, his eyes staring straight ahead, but not looking at anything in particular. In his peripheral, he could see Leon moving to sit beside him, their shoulders touching as the doctor rested his forearms on his knees.

Leon was torn between wanting to throw a comforting arm around the fragile blond and allowing him to have his space. He knew that pushing too hard could very well push Cloud even deeper into unresponsiveness. In the end, he settled for simply sitting beside him. "I don't know how much you remember of last night," he said heavily, "but you ran into me in the hallway and followed me as I was going off to see a new patient. That patient was—is Sephiroth Crescent, and your reaction to him..." Leon voice trailed off, his throat thick with emotion he didn't want to place. Seeing Cloud like that had been one of the most terrifying experiences of his life.

Still, he cleared his throat and went on, gathering up what remained of his professionalism. "I can only describe the way you reacted as completely scared shitless, Cloud," he said frankly, shaking his head. "You passed out, and I had to carry you back to your room. I've already told all of the staff not to allow—"

"Leon."

The dry, rusty, broken voice that wasn't his own stopped Leon mid-ramble, shocking him speechless. The first word Cloud had ever spoken to him, ever spoken in almost two years, and it was his own name. Leon's mouth hung open as he turned to look at Cloud, unsure of how to proceed. The blond's eyes were downcast and dull, his arms wrapped around his legs. Cloud licked at his lips, and then opened them to speak.

"Please," he said, "stop." Cloud raised his eyes to meet Leon's, and the brunet was instantly overtaken by the anguish he saw in them. He felt as though he were drowning; his throat was unbearably tight, his eyes prickling with the desire to shed tears. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but all he could do was shake his head helplessly, his brow furrowed in distress.

Cloud drew in a shuddering breath, his face scrunched together as he tried to hold in his tumultuous emotions. He turned away from Leon, unable with withstand the excess emotion in the brunet's own face on top of his own, and buried his face against his knees. Another gasping breath racked his body, and another, and soon enough they turned into dry sobs.

Leon finally gave up trying to maintain his distance and folded his arms around Cloud's torso, smoothing his hands over the blond's body. "I'm so sorry, Cloud," he murmured. "For whatever happened, I'm so, so sorry."

How many times had he heard those words? Fifty? A hundred? Yet as the psychologist uttered them to him for the hundred and first time, Cloud found himself giving up the fight, leaning into Leon's chest and clutching at his shirt as he cried.


	6. Chapter 6

Some time later—seconds, minutes, hours, the blond couldn't tell, so skewed was his sense of time—Cloud felt himself drifting away as he leaned against Leon's body. _This is getting ridiculous_, he thought. Pushing away from Leon's chest with one hand, he swiped at his face with the other, brushing away the remnants of the tears. His body shook with a few stray sobs as Cloud gathered himself together, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes.

So...this was what it had come to. All of a sudden, Cloud's life was falling apart again. Sephiroth shows up, says a few words, and he breaks down like a child, crying all over his psychiatrist, no less. Cloud's nose flared as his pulled in a deep breath. _Sweet goddess_, he thought miserably. His stomach hurt from the muscle spasms of only minutes before, his face felt cracked from the dried tears, and his throat was dry, tight, and incredibly uncomfortable.

Wordlessly, he helped himself to his feet, feeling Leon shift beside him as he followed along. Cloud made his way back into the bedroom and headed for the tray Leon had brought him, taking conservative sips from the glass of orange juice on it. His back was still to the doctor, but Cloud could feel the heat of the brunet's gaze on his back. He almost choked as he snorted derisively. If Leon thought that he was going to suddenly start spouting confessions, he had another thing coming.

Cloud turned around and crawled back onto the bed, carefully holding the glass in his hand, to sit with his back against the headboard. He lifted his eyes to meet Leon's, finding the brunet staring at him shadowed eyes as he leaned against the doorway to the bathroom. They eyed each other for a minute, neither moving, neither attempting to speak.

Finally, Cloud's lips opened. "Don't expect this to be a regular thing," he warned. His own voice sounded foreign to his ears. He supposed that a year and a half of not using it would do that to a person. Still, it was strange.

Leon almost missed Cloud's words, he was so captivated by simply hearing the sound of Cloud's voice. It was rusty from lack of use, rough and choppy, but it made Leon's heart race like nothing else ever had. He belatedly remembered his own voice. "I wasn't expecting anything," he answered calmly with a shrug. "But do you mean the talking, or...?"

Cloud narrowed his eyes and pointedly looked away.

A smirk lifted Leon's lips. "I see," he said, crossing the room in purposeful strides to sit down in the chair again. "So childish..."

"Look, just because I'm talking doesn't mean I'm going to be a Chatty Cathy about it," snapped Cloud, his eyes locking with Leon's. As the brunet raised a questioning eyebrow, Cloud looked away. "It doesn't matter anymore anyway," he said much more quietly. "Sephiroth—" His voice caught on the name, and his head hung against his chest.

Leon frowned. "Cloud," he said. "It—"

"I don't need your pity," mumbled Cloud with a sigh. His free hand came up to rub his eyes, and he took a swig of his juice. "And I don't need your help. I just..." Cloud trailed off helplessly. He didn't know what he wanted anymore.

Leon's lips thinned. If Cloud kept up such a defeated attitude, he would be clinically depressed in no time. Depression on top of whatever else was plaguing Cloud would not make his job any easier. "After all the shit you've done to make my life a living hell, you're not getting a single ounce of pity from me," he grumbled, taking pride in seeing the corner of Cloud's lips lift a tiny fraction. "But the fact still remains that it's my job to help you get through this."

The admission hung heavy in the room, until Leon spoke up again, this time with no small measure of discomfort in his voice. "And," he continued, "I would be lying if I said I didn't care what happens to you on a personal level. I don't like seeing you like this, Cloud. I was so fucking terrified when you passed out last night, I just—" His hand ran through his hair in frustration, his voice breaking as he realized exactly what he was professing.

Cloud opened his mouth, perfectly prepared to argue with Leon, to tell him not to say things like that to him, he didn't deserve the kindness, when he looked up and caught sight of the unguarded emotion on the brunet's face. Leon's eyebrows were knit and his eyes were stormy, expressing anger, fear, worry. All of the fight drained out of Cloud in that instant. How many lives had he ruined already? How much pain had he caused? If he could help it, Cloud wouldn't add another person to that list; despite his constant defiance to the psychiatrist, Cloud had never intended to cause him pain. Instead, he simply nodded to himself, and reached out to nudge Leon's knee with his foot.

"Hey," he said, and Leon looked up at him, his eyes back to their usual sheltered appearance. He raised an eyebrow as Cloud continued to stare at him with wide, unblinking eyes and his mouth set in a serious line.

"What," Leon finally said, unable to stand the silence any longer.

Cloud's eyes flickered to the ground, and then back to Leon's face. "I...generally try not to hang around pussies, so you're gonna have to cut that shit out," he said, keeping his tone even.

The pair watched each other fixedly, Cloud struggling to keep the smirk off his face, Leon wondering when the hell Cloud had recovered enough to start insulting him again. At some point, he became aware of his mouth curling into a smile, and noticed the matching smirk making its way across Cloud's lips. A soft chuckle, and Leon replied, "Only if you take your own advice. I'm gonna have to hire you to water my plants if you continue like this."

The smirk dropped straight off Cloud's face, and Leon only laughed harder. Cloud sent him a meaningful glare. _I will make you pay for that, and you _know_ it_.

"Whatever," Leon said as his chuckled died down. He picked up the plate from the tray he'd brought, holding it in Cloud's direction. "You should try to eat something. The toast might be helpful."

Cloud glanced at the plate impassively. "I'm not hungry," he said mildly, passing over his half empty glass of orange juice. "I don't want to talk about this anymore, either." His eyes quickly flicked over to Leon's, before dropping to the ground. _At least not right now._

Leon took the plate and glass, placing them back on the tray. "Fine," he acknowledged, his unspoken words hanging in the air: _You can't keep silent forever, Cloud_. "Then what do you want to do? I could take you outside of the asylum, if...you'd rather not be in the same building as Sephiroth right now." Leon's voice was edged with hesitation. He knew he was messing with touchy business, and it was imperative that he tread lightly. He didn't want to offend Cloud, but... "I've already informed all of the staff here that the two of you are never to be anywhere near each other," he added.

Cloud stared at him with narrowed eyes and a tilted head. _You __what_?

Leon frowned sheepishly, his cheeks dusting with color as he recalled his impassioned exclamation from the night prior. "It was mostly a spur of the moment thing," he admitted, "but still necessary. For Shiva's sake, Cloud, you passed out when he looked at you."

Cloud looked away from Leon and up at the ceiling in defiance. A petulant sigh escaped his lips as he let his head drop. "I'm not a child, Dr. _Leonhart_," he said, his voice dripping with haughtiness, "and I don't need you coddling me like I am one. And don't you have other patients to see? I know you just can't resist my stunningly good looks, but damn. You shouldn't neglect your job over it." Cloud's lips remained in a straight line despite the teasing nature of his comment; he was still thinking of how he'd woken up sans boxers or a shirt.

The psychiatrist gave a dry laugh. "Ha, ha, Cloud, you're so funny. It's Saturday," he explained. "I tend to leave my weekends free of appointments in case of emergencies and fuck-ups such as yourself." Nevermind the emotional break-down the blond was going through, Leon wasn't about to start taking abuse from the blond, verbal or nonverbal, without retaliation.

The blond's lips curved into a grin at the doctor's biting response. "Oh, how you wound me so, Doctor. And to think, last night you had me naked," he drawled, "and all to yourself." As much as he try to play it off as casual, Cloud couldn't ignore the chill that crawled down his spine at his own words, the heat that flooded his body at the images that arose.

No matter how Leon tried to fight it, a healthy blush still managed to make its way over his cheekbones. As if he hadn't wrestled with that thought, those scenarios already. "I already told you, it wouldn't have been proper or sanitary for me to leave you in bloody clothes–"

"Whatever you say, Doctor," Cloud cut in, nearly bursting with amusement at how uncomfortable Leon was, even though he was rather discomfited himself. "But I think I'd rather hang around here. There isn't really much for me out there right now anyway." His voice took on a gloomy tone as he contemplated exactly how little there was out there for him: his best friend was gone, his family—his mother, she had sent him here in the first place, and any semblance of a normal life he'd hoped to have had disappeared long ago.

Leon didn't like the idea of leaving Cloud to his thoughts for an entire day, but he didn't press the issue. "Suit yourself. I'll be in my office if you feel the need to torment me with your presence," he said unenthusiastically, rising from his chair and making his way over to the door.

Just before he opened it, Cloud called out to him. "Hey, Leon," he said.

Leon paused, his hand still on the doorknob, and turned his face to the side.

"I just might have to take you up on that offer."

Leon snorted, and Cloud grinned.


	7. Chapter 7

As Leon left Cloud's room, his heart was beating at what he knew must have been an unhealthy pace. While he wholeheartedly loved the way they had a system of nonverbal communication, to hear Cloud's voice was another thing entirely. Listening to the blond actually voicing his opinion gave Leon an immense sense of pride, even though it was mostly Sephiroth's fault that the blond was driven to speech. It was probably the man's fault that Cloud had stopped talking in the first place; it only made sense that his reappearance prompted Cloud into conversation again. The strange irony had Leon's lips twisting into a smirk. His mute songbird had finally found his voice again.

And what a voice it was! As Leon traveled down the hallway towards his office, his hands shoved deep in his pockets, he replayed the sound of Cloud's voice over and over in his head. The smooth contralto quality to it, the way the blond added just enough inflection to get his point across with being overly emotive, how every word he said had some meaning. Throughout the entire encounter, Leon couldn't help but think about what a shame it was that the blond had deprived the world of his voice for so long. He couldn't help but wonder what the blond's voice sounded like when he laughed, or under the strain of intense pleasure.

The brunet shook his head violently, trying to rid himself of the sudden thought. Where had it come from? Oh, he knew _exactly_ where: from stripping down the blond naked last night. Cloud's offhand comments hadn't helped either. Leon could feel his face heating up again at the mere memory of the blond's statements; Cloud hadn't know how close he was to the possibly truth. Leon was starting to think that he really couldn't resist the blond's attractiveness anymore. Yes, he'd noticed the man's fair and flawless countenance from the beginning, but never had he taken it into serious consideration. Now, with the reminder from the man himself that he had seen Cloud in all of his mesmerizing glory, it was incredibly hard to ignore the stern sweep of the blond's lips, difficult to erase the image of his broad chest, toned muscles, slender hips that led down to—

Leon slammed the door to his office shut and leaned against the closed door, screwing his eyes shut tight. "Damn," he muttered to himself, bringing up a hand to press against his face. This line of thinking was problematic, not to mention incredibly inappropriate. The doctor threw himself onto his own couch, imagining what another psychiatrist might say to him, and scoffed.

_"Doctor Leonhart, this is an unhealthy projection of repressed emotional conflict onto an innocent and unrelated person. Not to mention illegal."_

Another laugh escaped his lips. It suddenly occurred to him what Cloud's reaction to such a diagnosis might have been.

_"Actually, I'm pretty sure he just wants my cock."_

Leon chuckled softly to himself. It was strange, how one moment he relished the blond's silence, and in an instant, he wanted to hear everything and anything Cloud had to say. Funny how life worked like that. A silence fell over his office and mind as he idly contemplated the fact. Were it not for Sephiroth, this insane serial murderer, Cloud would've never begun talking again—would've never been in an asylum in the first place, from the looks of it. Leon would have never cared to become close to anyone again, would've never seen the day when he looked forward to anyone's presence in his life, would have never felt like his insides were turning themselves out over another person's distress. It was unnerving and reassuring at the same time; reassuring in that it reminded Leon he was indeed human, but unnerving in how vulnerable it made him feel.

And still, even after another span of silence, those words still floated around Leon's mind, haunting him:

_"And to think, last night you had me naked and all to yourself..."_

Leon groaned.

* * *

Cloud sat idly on his bed, staring at the space that Dr. Leonhart had vacated long after he was gone. If he wanted to, he could recreate the man, from his perfectly and stylishly arranged chocolate locks, to the heady scent of the cologne Cloud had never really noticed before, to the intense way Leon's blue-grey eyes seemed to penetrate his soul. Cloud tried to tell himself that, once he'd gotten over the shock of it, he wasn't indulging himself in a few fantasies about how last night could have gone. He tried to argue that it was just fatigue and emotional upheaval that made him want to cling to the brunet. And Cloud honestly tried to tell himself that he wouldn't have pushed things any further had he been awake during the alleged undressing. Really, he tried.

He scrubbed at his face with his hands, as if the action could somehow wipe away the lascivious thoughts as well. Of course he'd noticed how gorgeous the doctor was; he wasn't gay for no reason. Then again, Cloud reasoned with a snort, a person would literally have to be missing half their brain not to notice Leon, gay or straight. Even without speaking a word, Leonhart could command a room simply by his mere presence. The way his icy stare assessed a situation, and the way he immediately knew how to take control never failed to impress Cloud. And even if one managed to somehow block out the man's dominating aura, there was still his physical appearance to deal with. Five feet and ten inches of unadulterated masculinity that exuded confidence, grace, and subtle sexuality was damn hard to ignore.

Especially when said five feet and ten inches was alone with his comparably shorter five feet and seven inches of unadulterated nakedness the night prior.

Flopping backwards onto his bed, Cloud moaned inwardly, cussing at himself. There was just too much to think about, and it was all thanks to Sephiroth. Somehow the man always managed to control him without even trying. A shudder ran through Cloud's body as he remembered the exact extent of ex-boyfriend's control.

* * *

_The way the blood poured from Zack's neck made Cloud want to throw up. He could even feel the bile rising in the back of his throat as his best friend's choking form sank to the ground in front of him, life slowly ebbing from his body. His tear-filled eyes flickered upwards to lock with Sephiroth's cold, lifeless orbs, and he gagged, despair and disbelief churning in his stomach. Gasping for air, he rushed into the apartment, into the kitchen, and threw up into the sink. The noise seemed extraordinarily loud to his ears in the suddenly too quiet space; the only other sound was that of Zack's gurgling breaths. Out of the corner of his eye he picked up a slight motion, and hastily wiped at his mouth with the back of a trembling hand._

_ "Wh...why?" Cloud could scarcely hear himself speaking; his voice was nothing but a hoarse whisper. Tears streamed down his face, blurring his vision as he faced his boyfriend. His own eyes were riveted on Sephiroth's narrowed ones, slits of burning green in his face. In his peripheral vision he could see the blood pooling on the floor, see Zack clutching at his mortal injury, and it sent a racking sob through his body._

_ Sephiroth only stared calmly at Cloud, loosely holding the knife in his hand. He didn't respond to the blond's question, choosing instead to take a small step forward. Cloud instinctively shrank back, covering his mouth to suppress a loud cry. Sephiroth's lips curved into a small frown. "Cloud..."_

_ "Don't," Cloud gasped. "Don't, don't, don't—I can't, I _can't—_"_

_ A slight hiccup in Zack's breathing drew Cloud's attention. The blond felt himself holding his breath as Zack's bright blue eyes landed on his face. There was none of the usual mirth present in his __best friend's face; instead of joy, his face was painted with pain. "Cl...oud," he rasped out._

_ Cloud sank to his knees, one arm wrapped tightly around himself, the other pressed to his mouth. His body involuntarily rocked back and forth as he fought with the heavy emotions. Zack scratched against the floor with one hand, reaching out for Cloud._

_ "Run," he breathed, imploring Cloud with his eyes, "Cloud, run—" His speech was cut off as more blood bubbled forth from his mouth, choking him. Cloud pressed both hands to his mouth, unable to restrain the stream of whimpers that issued from his throat._

_ Sephiroth's frown deepened. He turned to Zack's prone body and, without a moment's hesitation, ground the heel of his foot into the side of his neck. There was a sickening crack, and then silence, save for the squelching noise of Sephiroth's foot as it slid off Zack's neck and onto the blood-soaked tile floor. The silveret gazed down impassively at the body of his late best friend for a moment before glancing back at his lover._

_ Cloud stared up at Sephiroth with horror written across his features. Sudden rage boiled within his chest. "How dare you," he whispered fiercely, and lunged upward towards him, hands balled into fists. Before Cloud could even comprehend the other man's motions, Sephiroth slammed him against the refrigerator, one hand wrapped around his throat in a bruising grip. The other hand drove the knife through his left shoulder, making Cloud cringe in pain._

_ They stared at each other, silent and contemplative, Cloud's distraught face against Sephiroth's eerily serene one. Cloud could feel himself struggling for air, taking in barely enough to stay conscious. "Why?" he asked weakly, his voice sounding thin and pathetic to his ears. "Sephiroth..."_

_ "Shh," soothed the other, bringing his hands down the side of Cloud's face in a caress. "Everything will be all right. Trust me."_

_ Cloud was infuriated. "No, it won't," he choked out. "Zack—you just—" He could feel his throat closing up with emotion, and the pressure on it made breathing nearly impossible._

_ Sephiroth only closed the distance between them, sealing their lips in a kiss. "Everything will be all right," he repeated, staring directly into Cloud's eyes. He kissed him again, his grip on Cloud's throat relenting as he littered the side of Cloud's face with small kisses. _

_ "You won't say a word," Sephiroth murmured into the blond's ear, caressing his throat with his thumb. "Everything will be all right, because you won't say a word. I love you, Cloud, but I won't hesitate to torture you." To emphasize his point, he lightly traced his fingers over the muscle of Cloud's left arm, delicately wrapped his fingers around the hilt of the knife, and dragged it in a horizontal line through the blond's pectoral muscle. He whispered soft condolences into Cloud's ear as he let out sharp cries from pain searing through his arm, pressed sweet kisses to his shoulder as a manner of apology._

_ "You will keep silent," Sephiroth commanded, pulling out the knife with a vicious yank and flinging it behind him. He turned his face towards Cloud's, grinning wickedly at the fear and sadness rampant in the blond's eyes. Cloud desperately wanted to fight, to run, to do _something_ other than just stand there, but he found himself immobile, paralyzed by fear and, though he was loathe to admit it, love for the maniac standing in front of him. He just wanted everything to go away, just wanted—_

_ "I can make everything better," assured Sephiroth, his fingers lightly tracing over the open wound he'd caused. "Trust me."_

_ "I—I can't," Cloud stuttered weakly, swallowing hard as those lips landed on his neck. With a trembling arm,he pushed at Sephiroth's chest, slightly surprised as the man eased back a few inches. He swallowed again, trying to get rid of the tightness in his throat. "Sephiroth..."_

_ Sephiroth eyed the blond critically, his sharp eyes analyzing Cloud's features. After a few silent moments, his lips curved into a dark smirk. "Wherever you run," Sephiroth warned, "I will find you, Cloud."

* * *

_

_ Wherever you run... _Cloud's eyes snapped open as the memory flashed through his mind. Even with his eyes completely open, he could still see everything as vividly as if it were right in front of him. Despite understanding the truthfulness of Sephiroth's words, he hadn't realized the man would following him even to an asylum. It was confusing, terrifying, disappointing—a sudden tangle of emotions that left Cloud reeling. He needed to get away from it all for a bit, away from himself. He sat up at the edge of his bed, his bare feet grazing against the cold linoleum. _A shirt,_ he thought, mindlessly running his fingers over his bare chest and over the scar he bore, _and then a walk_.

Quickly making his way over to his dresser, Cloud picked out a shirt at random—they were all the same, much to Cloud's slightly fashion-challenged delight—pulled it over his head, and left his room. The hallway was empty as he stood in front of his door, contemplating which way to go. There was the garden, a perfect place to contemplate the world. It would be quiet, but Cloud didn't particularly feel like sitting inside himself for another two hours. He thought about the cafeteria. Sometimes he liked to sit with the nurses as they took their lunch breaks, and listen to their idle chatter. Nurse Tifa was his favorite; she had a certain passion for life that he admired. There was always the added incentive of food. Nodding his head, Cloud turned down the hallway in the direction of the elevator. He pushed the button for the sub-level, smirking as he remembered that he always had an invitation to Leonhart's office if he truly became bored.

The elevator dinged cheerily, announcing Cloud's arrival at his destination. He left the elevator and turned down the hallway, actually looking forward to human company, for once. The corridor was mostly empty, save for the patient or two who passed him by without greeting. It was silent enough on the Saturday afternoon that Cloud stopped in his tracks to double-check if the noise he was hearing was in his head. After reliving the memory in such sobering detail, Cloud wouldn't have been surprised if the retching noises he was hearing were only in his head.

But no; as he stood still for moment after moment, he realized he could pinpoint the exact direction of the noise. Turning to his right, he cautiously placed a hand against the men's lavatory door, pressing lightly against it. The door opened with the barest of creaks, and Cloud slipped into the bathroom. The gagging sound echoed off the walls, and the way the chunks of vomit splashed against the toilet water made Cloud want to throw up himself. Still, he knew it was never a good sign if someone was vomiting, and crept closer to see what was wrong. He was standing just beside the stall when the toilet flushed, and the person exited the stall.

Piercing green eyes narrowed in contemplation of him, and then turned away as Sephiroth faced the sink, washing his mouth and face.

Cloud stood frozen, his heart beating madly, unsure of whether to run or stay. The rush of emotion he had been trying to quell came thundering back even stronger than before. He wanted to run as fast and far away as he could, but at the same time, he wanted to know if Sephiroth had changed. And still another part of him cared, wanted to know if he was okay, what was going on—

"I don't particularly care for being drugged against my will," drawled Sephiroth in a low tone, smirking sidelong at Cloud as he dried his face with a paper towel. He tossed the paper in the trash and turned to face Cloud fully. "But I suppose you don't care, do you."

Cloud couldn't remember the last time he'd had a civil conversation with Sephiroth. Two years? Three? Ever since Zack died, maybe even a short time before, everything they said to each other was antagonistic and biting.

"Come now, there's no reason for you to be silent around me," cooed Sephiroth, his eyes glittering. "Don't I even get a proper hello?"

Cloud immediately glared at Sephiroth, his hands balling into fists at his sides. He wouldn't give in, he wouldn't succumb...

Sephiroth took a step forward, but Cloud didn't move an inch. The silveret reached out a hand towards Cloud's face, gently placing his fingertips on the blond's cheek. "Why so quiet, Cloud?" he questioned, noticing the slight flinch of Cloud's skin under his fingers. "Are you still angry with me?"

Cloud said nothing, and only clenched his jaw to the point of pain. Sephiroth laughed, the sound a deep rumble that came from his chest. "You were always so fierce, kitten," he commented, ignoring the flash in Cloud's eyes at the pet name. "But could it be that you've forgotten how to talk to me after all these years?"

He circled around Cloud, allowing his fingers to drift down to Cloud's shoulder, and placed a chaste kiss on the back of the blond's neck. "I don't mind," he continued pleasantly. "I love how responsive you are, even without words." He buried his face in the juncture of Cloud's neck and shoulder, nuzzling him tenderly with a smile. Cloud shuddered violently, both from the gentleness of Sephiroth's touch and the fact that he was touching him at all. Something was keeping him standing there; he just couldn't tear himself away like he knew he should. Goosebumps broke out on his skin as his hair stood up on end.

Sephiroth didn't miss the way Cloud's entire body trembled ever so slightly, and grinned darkly. "Or," he said, his voice loosing all of the warmth it held, "is it that you're frightened because you've disobeyed me?" He completed his circle around Cloud, pinning him with a severe gaze. "Did you tell them all about me, Cloud? Was it you who brought me here?"

Cloud's eyes widened at Sephiroth's implications, and the silveret's smirk grew wider. Before Cloud's flight instinct could even kick in, Sephiroth stepped closer to him, leaving no space between them. His hand wrapped around Cloud's throat, tight enough to hold Cloud in place, but not forceful. His lips brushed against Cloud's ear as he whispered, "Tell me, Cloud, do you need to be punished for your sins?"

His breath came in short gasps as the panic started setting in. Cloud intuitively brought his hands up to Sephiroth's hold on his neck, trying to dislodge his fingers. Sephiroth only squeezed tighter, using his hold to swing Cloud around and slam him into the wall as he stumbled backwards. Cloud grunted as his head connected with the tile, black spots dancing across his vision.

Sephiroth chuckled darkly. "On your knees," he snarled cruelly, "I want you to _beg_ for forgiveness."

Cloud clawed at Sephiroth's hand, but the man's grip was vice-like in its strength. Sephiroth's face filled his vision as it grew blurrier, the vitriolic green eyes the only things remaining in focus. He was beginning to hope that someone, _anyone,_ would enter the bathroom and distract Sephiroth for even a second—anything for a chance to escape. Cloud berated himself for being lulled into a false sense of security, for thinking that maybe Sephiroth had changed, maybe there was a chance.

Just as Cloud thought he would either have to give in to Sephiroth or die, the silveret released him, cackling softly. Tears sprung into Cloud's eyes as he gasped to pull air in through his sore throat, and Sephiroth only watched in amusement. The blond quickly pushed him to the side, and Sephiroth allowed it, watching as Cloud backed away from him and ran out the door.

Cloud ran blindly down the hallway, unsure where he was even going. He knew he had to run, had to get away, to wherever his legs would take him. He felt like an idiot for falling into Sephiroth's trap, and a coward for running away from it. Skidding around a corner, he dashed up a flight of stairs and down an empty hallway. His breath came in heavy gasps as he struggled to catch his breath, still feeling the effects of Sephiroth's grip. Leaning his back against the wall, Cloud slumped to the ground as he took in deeper breaths. Finally eying his surroundings, he realized where his blind running had brought him—directly to Leonhart's doorstep.

Cloud's chest heaved as he shut his eyes tight against the tears that threatened to fall again. It seemed to be a running trend lately, and he didn't like it very much. With a shuddering sigh, he climbed to his feet, slowly taking the few steps across the hallway to knock on Leonhart's door. When he heard a call of, "It's unlocked," come from the man within, Cloud eased the door open and slipped inside. His gaze automatically fell to the floor before glancing up to Leon a bit sheepishly.

His voice cracked as he tried to speak. "I—I hope you're in the mood for a little torment," he said, wincing at how weak and broken his voice sounded. The tears filled his eyes again, and he quickly looked away from the doctor. This wasn't going to be fun.


	8. Chapter 8

Leon stared in shock for a moment at the figure that graced his doorway. "I'll have to call you back later, Selphie," Leon said numbly once he found his voice again. He ended his phone call and slipped his phone into his drawer, his eyes fixated on Cloud the entire time. The blond shifted nervously on his feet, looking for the first time anxious to be in his office, and Leon sighed. "I didn't actually mean that, you know," he murmured, standing up from his chair. As he walked towards Cloud, Leon noticed the shimmer of panic in Cloud's eyes. "The torment thing, I mean," he hastily rectified. "There's never a problem with you coming to see me. Understand?"

Cloud nodded in understanding, but didn't say anything further. Leon frowned as he grew close enough to notice the reddening bruises on the blond's neck, and the tear streaks on his face. Glancing up, he silently asked for permission and, upon receiving it, reached out a hand to gently tilt Cloud's chin upwards. He took in a sharp breath of air at the distinctly fingerprint-shaped markings, and quickly looked back into Cloud's eyes. "Sephiroth," Leon growled, and Cloud looked away, confirming Leon's suspicions. The brunet's eyes narrowed until they were slits in his face.

"Stay here," he commanded, pointing towards the couch and reaching out himself for his office door. An irrational anger welled up inside of his that despite his warning to the staff, Sephiroth had been allowed to get so close to Cloud. A strong grip on his arm halted him in his tracks before he could even open the door, and Leon turned to stare at the blond.

"Please," Cloud said softly, his eyes pleading. He had both of his hands wrapped around Leon's bicep, holding him firmly in place. "Just...don't," he whispered, his head shaking back and forth.

Leon wasn't ready to give up so easily. "Cloud," he said heavily, trying not to displace his anger, "you do realize that I cannot allow this kind of thing to occur? That if he's a direct threat to your life—"

"He's not," Cloud said with miserable certainty. "He won't kill me—he never will." He let go of Leon's arm and took a step backwards, staring at the ground.

Leon's lips thinned as he regarded Cloud's defensive posture, his hunched over shoulders, his arms folded across his stomach. It was a far cry from any demeanor the blond had ever expressed while in his office. Leon sighed deeply. "That still doesn't mean I'm going to allow this to continue," he said after a moment. "I won't allow one of my patients to be hurt like this."

Cloud's lips parted as thought he wanted to say something, but then closed again. Leon waited, not wanting to interrupt the blond if he truly wanted to say something, and he wasn't disappointed. "You don't understand," Cloud said dully.

Leon took the opportunity to take a step closer to Cloud, gently placing a hand on his arm. "Then help me understand," he said quietly. When Cloud didn't respond, he guided Cloud back over to the couch, motioning for him to sit. Cloud obliged, remaining silent the whole time.

The psychologist sat opposite him in a chair in front of his desk, waiting patiently for Cloud to speak. Seconds turned into minutes that passed by in silence, leaving Leon alone with his imagination. The marks around his neck were hardly trivial; Leon couldn't believe Cloud when he claimed that Sephiroth wouldn't kill him. Clearly the man was capable of doing so if he wanted, at any rate. Between those and the tears, Leon was prepared to confine the man to solitary for the remainder of his stay, if that was what it would take to keep him away from Cloud.

Leon was beginning to worry that the trauma of meeting with Sephiroth had shocked Cloud back into silence again, when Cloud spoke.

"It...it wasn't me, was it?" The blond's words were so soft-spoken that Leon almost missed them.

"What wasn't you, Cloud?" he asked in turn.

"My fault...it's not my fault he's here, right? I didn't say anything," Cloud relayed morosely. "I never said a word." Shining blue eyes snapped up to meet with Leon's perplexed slate-blue ones.

Leon shook his head, his voice caught in his throat for a moment. "Is that what he told you?" he asked. "That it's your fault he's here?"

Cloud hesitated for a second, and then nodded his head slightly.

"He's lying," Leon said curtly and without hesitation. "As a matter of fact, it's no one's fault but his own that he's here. He turned himself in, was tried, found not guilty by reason of insanity, and sent here. Had I known the relationship between the two of you, I never would have allowed it." It faintly occurred to him that he probably shouldn't disclose such information, but Leon figured it was anything Cloud could learn from watching the news if he wanted to.

Cloud's eyes widened slightly at the news. "He turned himself in?"

Leon nodded. "I can't tell you specifics, but trust me when I say this is all on him," he assured Cloud, even though something about the situation still weighed heavily on his mind. He wouldn't tell Cloud of his feelings regarding the matter unless they were fully substantiated, but still.

Cloud remained silent for a few more minutes, looking relieved yet slightly more perturbed than he had before. Finally, he glanced down at his hands. "He said...he said he would find me, no matter where I ran," he said quietly.

Leon started in his chair. Hearing that instantly made him positive that it wasn't just him—Sephiroth was following Cloud. It would make perfect sense—why a man who had been literally getting away with murder for years suddenly chose to allow himself to be caught, why he would _want_ to be sent to an asylum now for a mental illness he'd clearly been harbouring for years. If Sephiroth was stalking Cloud, then one of them—preferably Sephiroth, in Leon's opinion—would have to be moved immediately, whether Cloud liked it or not.

"Cloud," he said gravely, "Is it possible that Sephiroth is stalking you?"

Cloud only stared at him, a shuttered expression on his face. "It's a long story," Cloud finally responded, his tone severe. And it was; in order to explain why Sephiroth insisted on following him, why he was in an asylum in the first place, Cloud would have to rehash at least five painful years worth of his life story.

However, that was not the answer Leon was expecting at all. "We have time," he pointed out sarcastically.

Cloud remained silent, fighting an internal battle. After all this time, Sephiroth could still control him. The man had outright lied to him—a lie that Cloud knew to be untrue—yet a part of him had believed it anyway. It only confirmed Cloud's fears that he would never truly get over Sephiroth, that he would never be free of his control. A part of him simply wanted to give up, to give in to the control and return to his silence and to Sephiroth. But another part of him wanted to fight against it, and Cloud knew he couldn't do it alone. Leon...could help him.

Cloud let out a shuddering breath. "I guess you're right," he said. "But I'm laying down some rules." The blond raised an eyebrow at Leon, waiting for his acknowledgment to continue. Leon nodded immediately.

"One, I—I don't want you abusing Se—Sephiroth," he stuttered out, "verbally or physically." Cloud fixed Leon with a hard look, daring him to question the request.

Leon stared back just as sternly, disliking Cloud's attitude but unwilling to break the blond's trust. "Fine," he gritted out, his tone making it certain that he wasn't happy to agree. "What else?"

Cloud thought for a moment. "Two, I don't want anyone else finding out about this," he said slowly. "I don't want this on my file. None of it."

"Cloud," Leon started to argue, "that's not—"

"There's nothing wrong with me, Leonhart," Cloud burst, his voice louder than usual but still far from shouting. His hands were tightly balled into fists at his sides. "At least, nothing you can fix. I've been here long enough to figure that out, and if I've figured that out, then I'm sure you have, too. Taking notes on me isn't going to do a damn thing." He stopped with an abrupt gasp for air, shocked at himself. It had been so long since he'd had a verbal conversation with someone, much less yelled at them. It felt foreign to hear his own voice so loud in his ears. Still, he knew he had more to say.

"If you're acting as my psychologist, I won't tell you a single thing," Cloud said, his voice much closer to its usual quiet volume. "But if you really want to know, then fine. You've...earned my respect. I'll tell you...as a friend."

There it was, that word Leon hated. _Friend._ Only this time, there was no running from it. He glanced up, catching Cloud's determined eyes and finding himself caught up in them. He couldn't deny what Cloud had said; from all of his observations of the man, Leon couldn't find anything other than perhaps some trauma-induced anxiety and depression. Nothing that he could really do anything about unless Cloud wanted the help. But acknowledging the truth in Cloud's words meant acknowledging the truth within himself—more than anything, he _wanted_ to be Cloud's friend.

Breaking their gaze with a shuttered look downwards, Leon sighed deeply. Cloud watched him closely, hoping he hadn't made an error in judgment. He couldn't remember the last time he'd put himself on the line so openly (_not since Sephiroth_, his mind reminded him silently), and it wasn't entirely comfortable. Finally, when Cloud was just about to give up, Leon stood up and made his way over to the door. He opened it, gave the hallway a cursory glance in each direction, and then shut and locked it.

He sat back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. "Don't make me regret this, Strife," he murmured, looking everywhere but at Cloud's face. "Start talking."

As he looked up, Leon noticed the faintest glimpse of a smile on Cloud's face, and suddenly, he knew nothing would ever be the same.

* * *

A/N: Short, but necessarily so. Also, I noticed that we're going to be going through a slightly angsty period for the next chapter(s), but after that, things get more dramatically humourous, so to speak. Hopefully. My sense of humour is certifiably skewed, I've been told.


	9. Chapter 9

"I'm not sure where to really begin," Cloud admitted uneasily, squirming a bit in his seat.

Leon raised an eyebrow. "How about explaining why he put those marks on your neck," he said abrasively, his arms folded over his chest. He couldn't help himself; the idea of anyone touching his Cloud pissed him off beyond belief.

Wait.

His Cloud? _My patient_, he corrected in his mind. _He's just my patient. I am completely justified in being upset that some psychopath harmed one of my ._

Cloud narrowed his eyes at Leon's blunt approach, but quickly forced himself to relax. He had agreed to it, after all. "I was going to head to the cafeteria," he started, "and sit with some of the nurses. I heard someone throwing up in the guy's bathroom so I went in to make sure someone wasn't dying or anything. Sephiroth was the one throwing up." He paused, taking in a deep breath. "Are you drugging him?"

Leon blinked for a moment, trying to decide what he wanted to address first. "No," he said, answering Cloud's question first. "I haven't prescribed anything for him yet, not until I do a more thorough examination. Did he tell you someone drugged him?"

Cloud shrugged. "He was kind of vague about it. He said he didn't like being drugged against his will," he said.

Leon nodded. That answered his other question. "He's just paranoid," Leon stated. "Continue."

Cloud shuddered, a move so slight Leon would have missed it were he not staring at Cloud so intently. "Well," he began again, "I didn't say anything to him. I just...stood there. He asked me why I wouldn't talk to him, and when I didn't answer, he—" Cloud fell silent, the memory of the gentle caresses still etched in his skin.

A low growl filled the silence, and Cloud glanced up towards Leon in shock. Though his face seemed composed enough, there was a fury in his eyes that struck Cloud to his core. "Leon..."

At Cloud's softer tone, Leon seemed to come back to himself. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "Go on."

Cloud raised a doubtful eyebrow, but continued speaking. "When I didn't answer him, he...invaded my personal space," he said, a rosy blush spreading across his cheeks.

Leon waited patiently for Cloud to elaborate, but when no answer seemed forthcoming, he asked, "Okay, invaded it how? Like, 'I'm going to choke you' invade?"

Cloud shook his head once. "No," he said slowly, "like, 'We went out for four years' invade."

Despite trying to maintain a stoic demeanor, Leon's face registered his shock quite clearly as his mouth fell open. He'd suspected that the two had some kind of emotional relationship, but he had been thinking more along the lines of psychopath/victim. This was...unexpected. "Oh," he said, quickly trying to cover his surprise.

Cloud regarded Leon warily. "Is that a problem? I mean," he clarified, "I'm gay. I've always been gay."

Leon hurried to explain. "No, that's absolutely not a problem," he said. "I'm probably not supposed to tell you this, but I'm gay, too."

Cloud's eyebrows raised to the ceiling. "...oh," he said quietly. Well. Question answered.

"I was only surprised because I thought the only relationship you two might have had was psychopath and victim," Leon explained. "I wasn't thinking along those lines."

Cloud only nodded, and silence fell like a thick blanket. Leon was ready to apologize again when Cloud spoke up. "You must think...I'm so stupid," he muttered with a mirthless laugh, "for falling in love with a psychopath." He hazarded a glance in Leon's direction, and was slightly surprised to see him looking at him with confusion.

"Why would I think that?" Leon asked carefully. Cloud shrugged, and Leon went on. "You're not stupid, Cloud. If you were, trust me, I wouldn't like you half as much as I do." _Shit._ "As friends, I mean. I wouldn't want to be friendly with you." _Fuck._ "In a completely platonic manner." Leon pointedly glanced away, his teeth clenched tightly shut. He was losing his professional demeanor, and in the worst way possible.

The corners of Cloud's mouth had been steadily creeping up into a smirk as Leon fumbled for words. While his heart beat nervously in his chest at whatever Leonhart was unintentionally implying, he couldn't help but tease. "I knew you had ulterior motives for getting me naked," he drawled as Leon quit trying to save face.

Leon felt his face growing warm. "Don't act like you don't want the attention," he snapped, and it was Cloud's turn to blush.

He racked his brain, trying to think of some witty reply, but Cloud could find none. He really _did_ like the attention, even if he didn't acknowledge it. "Whatever," he finally muttered, having been paralyzed by the truth whether Leon knew it or not.

Inwardly, Leon was reeling that Cloud hadn't tried to deny the allegation, but simply chose to file away the information for later. "That's my line," he said, completely straight-faced.

Cloud openly grinned. _I know._

Leon glowered. "Just keep talking," he grumbled.

Cloud barely refrained from rolling his eyes. Instead, he showed a hint of a smirk and raised his eyebrow. _Touchy._

"Words, Strife," Leon sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose. Though he sounded annoyed, he was secretly glad to have gotten past the awkward moment of tension.

Cloud's smirk softened, and then fell from his face completely. He nodded, continuing with his story. "He...wasn't always like this, you know," he said quietly. "He used to be...more than I could ever dream of. He was...he still is everything to me."

Cloud bit his lip hard, worried for a moment that tears were going to spill from his eyes despite his efforts to hold them in. But the feeling quickly passed, and he forced himself to go on. "I first met him when I was a freshman in college. He was a friend of—of Zack's. They were best friends, Sephiroth and...Zack." Memories flashed across his mind like a film reel, one after another, of the few years Zack had been in his life.

_"__Heya, Spike! How's it going?"_

_"Aw, don't mind Mr. Stick-up-my-ass, he's always like this."_

_"Seph, keep an eye on the kid for me, will ya? He gets a little frisky when he's drunk."_

_"That's not fair! How come he's so nice to you, Cloud?!"_

_"You guys...you're good for each other, you know? This is the happiest I've ever seen him."_

_"Cloud, run—"_

He couldn't prevent the single tear that slipped from his eye, and hastily wiped it out of sight. Cloud shut his eyes tight for a moment, forcing himself to push down the rising emotions, and continued talking.

"Zack was the best friend I ever had. In the three years that I knew him, he became closer to me than anyone else I've ever known. He was like...a brother to me," Cloud said quietly, staring at his hands. "He helped me through the worst times of my life. He was always there for me, whenever I needed him. He was the one who introduced me to Sephiroth. Zack and Seph...they were best friends, even before I showed up. But they both accepted me, even though for a while I felt like I was third wheel to their friendship." Cloud fell silent again, taking in a shaky breath.

Leon swallowed against the tightening in his throat, uneasy with what he knew he was about to hear. "What happened between you?" he asked.

Cloud licked his lips once before speaking. "A little while after Zack and I met," he started, "he introduced me to Sephiroth. At first, I was really intimidated by him. His personality isn't exactly conducive to socializing. But then again, neither is mine. I think that's why we got along so well. I learned that he wasn't as cold as he appeared to be. He just had trouble expressing his emotions. We grew closer and closer every time we met up, until we started dating when I was 19.

"Seph was perfect, the best anyone could ever ask for. He might not have been the best at expressing emotions, but when he did, it was the most brilliant thing ever." A soft smile crossed Cloud's lips. "Once—our second Valentine's Day, actually, because he didn't understand the concept of the first one—he bought me a teddy bear bigger than I was, and he filled my room with mountain flowers. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

The smile spread until it reached Cloud's eyes, immediately dampening the usually harsh glow in them, and Leon instantly understood. Despite everything Sephiroth had done, despite whatever he'd done to the blond, Cloud still loved him. Still did, and most likely always would. Sephiroth, for Cloud was one of those people who would always firmly hold a piece of Cloud's soul. Whether or not Cloud was the same for Sephiroth remained to be seen.

After a short pause, Cloud laughed quietly, disturbing his spikes with his fingers. "I...I'm still in love with him, aren't I," he said, glancing up from underneath his bangs and echoing Leon's thoughts. The doctor tried very hard to keep his face neutral, not wanting Cloud to suddenly recede into his shell again. But Cloud kept talking. "If I'm honest with myself, I never stopped loving him. Even when he..."

Cloud's voice trailed off again, and Leon had to restrain the urge to jump from his chair and comfort him. Instead, he tightened his hands into fists and folded his arms across his chest. "When he what, Cloud?" he prodded gently.

Cloud started almost imperceptibly at the rough tone to Leon's voice, though whether Leon's irritation was with himself or Sephiroth, he couldn't tell. Whatever the case, it was as though something inside Cloud broke. He suddenly felt tired of everything—of hiding, of staying silent, of being scared. He never thought of himself as a person to beat around the bush with anything and dammit, when did Sephiroth turn him into such a coward?

"Sephiroth killed Zack," he said numbly, absently nodding his head. "Along with a number of other people, as I'm sure you know. But I didn't see any of those. I saw him kill Zack."

Leon straightened in his chair even as any anger he may have been feeling drained from his body. He wanted to interrupt, to tell Cloud he didn't have to force himself, but the blond barely noticed him anymore.

"We had gotten into a fight. Zack and I, a little after my 21st birthday. Zack knew. About Sephiroth...killing people. He knew everything way before I did. People thought he was stupid 'cause he was so damn cheerful all the time, but he was a lot more perceptive than people gave him credit for. He picked up on the little things, and why wouldn't he? He knew Seph better than anyone—better than me. I think—he tried to talk to me about it first, before confronting Seph. That's what we fought over. I was so blinded by my love that I refused to acknowledge even the possibility that Seph might have...fundamental personality flaws." He chuckled darkly. "I was such an idiot."

"Cloud..."

"We fought pretty badly over it. Didn't talk for four days after. The tension between the three of us was unbearable. I even talked to Seph about it, told him how ridiculous I thought it was that Zack was accusing him of being a serial killer. He laughed them off and comforted me, told me it absolutely wasn't true. But I still—Zack wasn't just my best friend, he was Seph's, too. In the end, I couldn't believe that Zack would say things like that without really believing he had a reason to. So after four days of not talking, I planned to go apologize and talk it over."

Leon's brow was heavily furrowed at the tears streaming unnoticed down Cloud's face, but he knew it was useless to interfere now.

"I tried calling him, but he didn't answer. I went to his house, but he wasn't there. So I called Aerith—his girlfriend. She told me that he'd gone to Seph's place not too long ago. I think—I think that's the first time I got the feeling that things were about to go wrong. But I ignored it and went to Seph's place by myself. The door was already unlocked. Seph had given me a key to his apartment, so I didn't think twice about just walking in. The first thing I saw was Zack, and—and the blood. There was so much blood. Just...red. Everywhere. All over Zack. And he—he just fell to the floor. I ran in and threw up. I couldn't take it.

"And then Seph—Sephiroth. He just stood there—watching me, like he'd just asked me out to dinner and was waiting for an answer. And then Zack—he—he reached out for me, he told me to run, and I should have listened—oh, my god." A hand flew up to cover his mouth as soundless sobs wracked Cloud's body. He wrapped his other arm tightly around his body, rocking back and forth. "He just—did it. Like—like he was stepping on a crack in the sidewalk," Cloud continued, his voice completely breathless. "He broke Zack's neck without blinking an eye, he just—he killed his best friend, he killed Zack—oh, my _god, Zack_. He killed Zack, Zack's _dead_, he's _dead_, and I _watched_ it happen—"

Leon couldn't contain himself any longer. _Professionalism be damned_, he thought, rising from his chair and dashing to Cloud's side. He was only mildly surprised when Cloud immediately wrapped his arms around him, clinging like a small child; it was most likely the first time Cloud had ever actually voiced anything concerning Zack's murder. It was bound to be a highly emotional experience for the blond. What completely blindsided Leon was how emotional it was for himself.

"I—" Leon's voice cracked on the single syllable, which was just as well, because he couldn't think of anything to say. Instead, he held Cloud tighter in his arms, one hand running through the blond spikes that were tucked just beneath his chin, the other rubbing soothing circles on his back. He could feel the shudders that ran through Cloud's body, and each one made his heart jump. Leon was finding it harder and harder to keep his anger at Sephiroth in check, with proof of the numerous innocent lives he'd ruined sitting in his arms. The only thing keeping him in his office at the moment was the fact that Cloud was in it, and Cloud needed him.

Before long, Cloud's body settled down, the occasional sob happening every minute or so, instead of one after the other. Leon didn't stop his petting, and Cloud didn't pull away, so the doctor was content to stay where he was. When Cloud's grip on him lessened to the point where it was only suffocating rather than bone-crushing, Leon sighed.

"So much for not letting this become a regular thing," he said in a bored tone of voice.

Cloud stiffened. "'m sorry," he said quickly, trying to pull away.

Leon wouldn't have it. "Cloud," he said seriously, holding Cloud in place so he could neither pull nor look away, "if you decided to unmute yourself just to apologize for shit that wasn't your fault, then I'd rather you just stop talking again."

Cloud glanced at the ground, fighting against the blush he knew was rising on his face. "Sor—okay," he said, amending his statement halfway through.

After a few heartbeats of relative silence, Leon sighed again, reaching up one hand behind Cloud's back to massage the bridge of his nose. "Okay, what?" he asked, "you're going back to being mute, or you're going to stop apologizing?"

Cloud forcefully pushed himself away from Leon's embrace, despite the acute sense of loss he felt at the motion. He gave him a flat stare before pointedly staring straight ahead. _You're obviously unworthy of hearing my wondrous voice any longer, peasant._

Leon chuckled softly. "I see," he responded, lounging backwards against the couch, draping his arms over the back. "I assume this is a permanent decision from now on, then?"

Cloud remained silent, only deigning to tip his nose a fraction higher into the air. _As far as you're concerned, yes._

"Huh," said Leon. Nodding his head, he stood up, brushing his hands on his slacks. "I suppose we're done here, then. Unless you wanted to finish your story...?" Leon deliberately left the question open, inviting Cloud to start talking again. He was banking on the blond having felt a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment at finally being able to talk to someone about the event that had scarred him so deeply.

Cloud chewed on his lip, his stoic mask breaking as quickly as he'd constructed it. "W-wait," he said as Leon took a few steps towards his desk.

Leon raised an eyebrow. "Hm?"

"I—I want to finish," Cloud mumbled, looking anywhere but at Leon's face. He would never admit it, but he had felt a certain sense of relief in finally being able to say the words. Cloud had never even dared to whisper the words to himself after Zack's murder; to hear them out loud forced the scrambling pieces of his mind together with stunning strength. He already felt much better—not perfect, but better—and he'd already told the worst of the story.

Leon could see a small change pass over Cloud's face. Making a split-second decision to assume his seat beside Cloud rather than his own chair, Leon sat down on the couch again, waiting expectantly.

Cloud took in a shuddering breath. He felt a lot calmer now that the doctor was sitting beside him. Having his warmth so close by was...oddly comforting. He refused to acknowledge the small voice in the back of his head that blamed said comforting feelings on his rising libido. "After he—yeah, after that," Cloud started again, "I just—I got so pissed. I was furious, I wasn't thinking. I rounded on him, and before I knew what I was doing, he had me pinned to the fridge with a knife through my left shoulder. I dunno how thoroughly you were paying attention while you were stripping me last night—"

Leon had the decency to color at Cloud's reminder.

"—but I still have the scar across my chest from it. Anyway, we exchanged words, mostly him telling me not to talk or else he'd torture me. I guess he trusted me, or knew that he'd scared me into submission, because when I pushed him away, he let me run. He told me—" Cloud's voice suddenly cut off, and his face twisted with anguish.

"Cloud?" Leon said, his voice laden with worry.

Cloud ran a shaky hand through his hair. "He told me that wherever I ran, he would find me," he said in a small voice.

In the silence that followed, it took all of Leon's restraint not to cuss a blue streak. The man was a psychopath, through and through. Not only had he succeeded in completely torturing Cloud psychologically, but apparently he was pretty good at physically abusing Cloud as well. Sliding down from the couch and onto the floor in front of Cloud, Leon took his face in his hands. "Cloud," he said seriously, "I don't ever want you to think that anything he did or anything that happened was your fault. None of this is your fault. Understand?"

Cloud's face scrunched up. "Yeah," he said absently, his voice toneless.

Leon spat out a curse, unable to help himself. "Cloud," he said firmly, "I'm going to be very blunt with you right now, because so far, that manner of communication has been working for us."

Without waiting for any kind of confirmation from the blond, not that he was expecting any, Leon continued. "I'm not going to tolerate any of this self-pity bullshit. I get that what you experienced was terrible, yeah. But beating yourself up over something that happened in the past isn't going to change it. The only person you're hurting is yourself, and I'm not going to let you do that. As your psychologist, and as your friend, I won't let that happen.

"You're not alone, Cloud. I'm here for you to talk to anytime you feel like things are too much. But I am not going to help you drown in your own depression. I _refuse_." Leon was snarling his words at Cloud by now, but he was too far gone in his emotions to care. "You're too important to me for me to let that happen to you."

Cloud's eyes snapped to Leon's face, wide with surprise, before they narrowed in deep thought. He faintly wondered if Leon had any idea what his words meant to him. He'd been alone for so long; when Sephiroth murdered Zack in front of him, Cloud had not only lost Zack, but 3 of the closest friends he'd ever had. To hear that Leon, even after hearing what he'd witnessed, wanted to be a friend to him—

"I'm—important to you," Cloud said slowly, biting his lip hard to keep the sobs from escaping.

Leon nodded. "You're my friend, Cloud," he said, swallowing hard. "Not just a friend, but a very good friend. That automatically makes you very important to me."

He hesitated, wondering if he'd already stepped too far out of line. _Fuck it,_ he thought, _if I'm going out of line, might as well go all out._ "To be honest, Cloud, I can't picture a life without you," he said quickly. Cloud's eyes widened even further, and Leon winced. "I mean—even after you leave here, I still want you in my life." _Sweet Shiva. _"To see you, I mean. I want to see you after you get out." _Goddammit. _"Not—not _see_ you, see you...friends! I still want to be friends even after you leave. Fucking hell."

Cloud gave a watery chuckle at Leon's inability to express himself properly. "Hey, stop taking advantage of this 'off the record' thing," he joked, his voice cracking with repressed shudders.

Leon's lips thinned into a firm line. "Whatever, Cloud," he said, "but I'm very serious. You said you would only tell me these things as a friend, and I fully intend to be one to you. I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't."

The blond gave a sharp nod. "I...I know," he said with a sigh. "It's just...a lot. A lot at one time. And I...I've never really had friends. I haven't had friends since—"

Leon slowly nodded in understanding. "You're right, it is a lot," he affirmed. "But you're not alone this time. You're not alone anymore."

Cloud couldn't help himself, and drew a shuddering gasp of breath. Leon frowned and glanced behind himself to see if he had any tissues left on his desk. "I must have run out of tissues, sorry," he said turning back to Cloud.

The blond only gave him a bright smile. "Don't worry about it," Cloud said gently.

Leon sat, stricken momentarily speechless by the suddenly serene look on Cloud's face. He stared mindlessly into Cloud's teary blue eyes, wondering what he'd done to make Cloud look like that, and whether or not it was a repeatable feat.

Cloud cocked his head to the side, wondering if Leonhart had really spaced out in front of him, or if it was some sort of medical disaster. He snapped his fingers in Leon's face, hoping to God it wasn't an aneurysm or something, because he had next to zero medical experience. "Leon?"

Leon blinked rapidly as his eyes refocused. "Yeah," he said airily, rising quickly to his feet, "sorry. Uh...yeah." He took a few steps backwards and motioned at the couch. "Feel free to take a nap here, if you'd like. Not that you'd need an invitation."

Cloud raised an eyebrow and said nothing. _Eager to keep me around, loverboy?_

Leon snorted and made his way to the door. "Don't give me looks. I'll be back in a little bit, so don't trash my office," he said, his hand on the doorknob.

Cloud frowned. "You're not going after—"

"No," Leon answered carefully. "I just—I have to go take care of some logistical things. I'll be back soon."

Cloud scoffed, but reclined on the chair anyway. _My ass. Fine, but if you mark him, I'll be cross with you._

"Nice to know I have your approval," Leon chuckled before disappearing through the door.

Alone in the room, Cloud let a content smile stay on his lips before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

"Oh—Rinoa," Leon said, stopping the young nurse in the middle of the hallway. "You wouldn't happen to know who they have assigned to Sephiroth yet?"

Rinoa glanced up to the ceiling in thought. "Um...we've just been rotating around, since he's new and all, I'm not sure—oh! That's right, Tifa's been given his case, since she's the strongest out of all of us." The woman giggled behind a hand. "I know he hasn't been violent yet or anything, but that guys looks like he could really pack a punch!"

Leon nodded absently, ignoring her chatter. "Listen, could you let her know that I've changed Sephiroth's first appointment with me from Tuesday to Monday morning?"

Rinoa's eyebrows raised. "Of course," she said. "Is...something the matter?"

"No," Leon replied, already beginning to walk away, "just some things I'd rather take care of sooner than later."


	10. Chapter 10

I told you I wouldn't abandon you.

It has been a long time since I've updated this story (around three years, I think?), so I wouldn't fault anyone who's lost interest in this story. But for those who still follow, thanks for sticking around. I could go into the whole spiel about life and getting shit together and procrastination and life, but let's be real: ya'll don't give two shits. Ya'll came here for fanfiction. And fanfiction thou shalt receive. This chapter's been sitting in my files pretty much finished for a long ass time, but I didn't want to upload it until I knew I was working on the next chapter. So here's to updating on a semi-regular basis again!

For those who've just picked this up and have come this far...hope you enjoyed it so far, look for more in the future!

* * *

Monday morning couldn't have come soon enough for Leon, and neither could the end of his first appointment of the day. Ever since the incident between Cloud and Sephiroth on Saturday, he'd been easily irritable and on edge in anticipation for his encounter with the serial killer. He didn't even bother hiding his frustration as he slammed his hands onto his desk and stood up, staring down the growling patient on the other side. "For Gaia's sake, Saïx, if you want to act like a goddamned animal, we're going to treat you like one," he roared, making the man pause for a moment in sheer shock. He angrily rounded his desk and stalked over to Saïx, standing close enough to notice the faint spattering of freckles across the blunette's cheeks.

"Is that what you want?" he asked sharply, throwing his arms in the air. "Do you want us to lock you in a cage, put you in a collar and leash, take you out for walks three times a day? Do you want us to take away any semblance of autonomy you might have in this place? Do you want us to take your humanity?"

For a moment, Leon could see a flash of sanity in Saïx's eyes as the humanity within him understood the implications of Leon's words. The moment was all too fleeting, though, as Saïx suddenly lunged forward and Leon, caught completely off-guard, found himself pinned to his desk with Saïx's fist on his face. With a grunt, he quickly held his arms over his face to ward off the onslaught of blows that followed, cursing under his breath that he'd lost his temper and provoked Saïx so thoroughly. He also cursed Reno for never being able to arrive where he was needed in a timely manner, and resolved to pass on to the redhead any injuries he sustained.

Taking a chance, Leon darted an arm out to the side, grabbing the glass paperweight Rinoa had gotten him one year for his birthday and swinging at Saïx with it. The bluenette saw Leon's arm coming well in advance and ducked away, but Leon still managed to achieve his desired effect: freedom. Saïx had jumped off Leon to avoid being hit, allowing Leon to land a quick kick at Saïx's midsection. Saïx doubled over slightly, glaring at Leon, who crouched on top of his desk, eyes narrowed. The door to his office suddenly burst open, and Leon let out a sigh of relief. This was getting way out of hand, and he didn't need the extra irritation during his appointment with Sephiroth.

"Reno, it's about time you got up here," he snarled angrily, glancing up towards the...silver-haired demon inhabiting his doorway. Even in sweatpants and a T-shirt, his long locks hastily thrown into a messy bun, the man was still a picture of elegance and raw power. Something in the way he stood—no, his very _aura_ demanded respect and submission. Sephiroth said nothing but whistled sharply, and immediately, the blue-haired patient spun on his heel. His fingers clenched into fists, Saïx focused on the new intruder and lunged towards Sephiroth in a matter of seconds. Sephiroth swiftly sidestepped, using the man's own momentum to shove Saïx to the floor.

_"Stay_," he commanded firmly, and much to Leon's utter shock, Saïx obeyed. While it wasn't a docile obedience—several times in the next minute it took for Reno to arrive, Saïx growled loudly and twitched in Sephiroth's general direction—the fact that he remained where he sat impressed Leon to no end.

"I hope you don't mind my intrusion," Sephiroth said mildly, just as Reno skidded to a stop outside of Leon's office.

"Whoa," Reno said, taking in the scene before him. Leon was still crouched on his desk, clutching the paperweight and glaring daggers at Sephiroth, who stood calmly beside a barely-contained, growling, irate Saïx as he sat on the floor. The nurse let out a low whistle, his lips quirking into a smirk. "You just get kinkier every time, doncha, Leonhart?"

"_Reno,"_ Leon warned, jumping from his desk. The hand that held the paperweight twitched in anticipation.

Reno held up his hands in surrender. "Aight, aight," he acquiesced. "Don't get your panties in a twist, yo." He took out the sedative and eyed Saïx cautiously. As he approached with the needle, the blue-haired man growled at him, but with one laser-like glance from Sephiroth, he quieted down as Reno administered the sedative. Soon enough, the man was unconscious, and Reno raised his eyebrows towards Sephiroth.

"I dunno how you do it," Reno said appreciatively, "but you should think about sharing your techniques with Dr. Tightass over there."

"Reno," Leon said tersely. "If you are not out of my office in the next ten seconds, this paperweight will replace your brain. I'm sure it'll be a noticeable improvement."

Reno muttered under his breath as he lifted Saïx in his arms. "Good luck," he said to Sephiroth as passed him. Sephiroth nodded his head with a small grin by way of acknowledging him.

"I didn't ask for your help, nor did I need it," Leon warned Sephiroth as Reno carted the sedated man from the room and shut the door behind himself.

Sephiroth raised a dainty eyebrow. "I'm sure you didn't," he answered back easily. "However, a word of advice: sometimes the only thing an unruly animal responds to is a dominant hand." His lips curled into a smirk and his eyes glittered, and Leon felt his hatred for the man renewed. He easily picked up Sephiroth's implications, and fought against the urge to throw the man out of his office.

"Please, have a seat," he said tightly instead, motioning towards his couch as he returned to his chair behind his desk. He spent much more time than was necessary repositioning the paperweight on his desk, and when he finally looked up, Sephiroth was seated in the corner of his sofa, chin propped up on his hand, a bored expression painting his face. It was striking how similar the expression was to the one Cloud often wore in his office; Leon briefly wondered if Cloud had picked it up from him.

He broke the silence that stretched between them. "Assault of other patients will not be tolerated in this facility," Leon stated flatly.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, replying with only one word. "Assault?"

"Yes, _assault_," Leon answered back.

Silence again. "I'm not sure what you—"

"Oh, cut the bullshit," Leon spat out, pushing backwards from his desk. He crossed his arms and propped one foot on the edge of his desk to keep from jumping up and beating an apology out of the man. "You and I both know what I'm talking about. That little incident on Saturday you instigated with Cloud is absolutely unacceptable. I will not have you undermining the progress I'm beginning to make with him, is that understood?"

Sephiroth's features settled into a more neutral expression. "If we're going to be cutting the bullshit, Dr. Leonhart, then I suggest you begin with yourself," he said coolly. "Why do you have such resentment towards me? We hardly have any relevant history together, there's no reason for you—"

"Oh, I'm sorry if I'm actually capable of empathy, and I find issue with having one of my patients come tearing into my office after being choked out by his ex-boyfriend," Leon drawled corrosively. Even as the words left his mouth, he questioned the propriety and vehemence of his statement, and wanted to punch himself in the face. That had been completely out of line.

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed. "Ex-boyfriend?" he asked quietly, ignoring the part of Leon's statement that truly left him bitter.

Leon blanched. Cloud had never specifically stated that they ever broke up; in fact, Cloud had openly admitted to still being in love with the man. So where did that come from? _Wishful thinking, _his mind answered back. Pushing it to the back of his brain, Leon quickly resumed his questioning. "Why did you tell Cloud it was his fault you were sent here?"

Sephiroth pursed his lips, but let the subject change slide. He could get a more direct answer from Cloud himself, anyway. He thought back to their time together in the bathroom. It had been a risky stunt, no argument, but entirely satisfying. Toying with Cloud had always been one of his favorite pastimes, even if _she_ always took it much too far. He often suspected that _she_ took advantage of the fact the he naturally enjoyed teasing Cloud, but...anything to protect him. Anything to keep from doing what _she_ really wanted.

"I full well know Cloud has no direct involvement in how I ended up here," Sephiroth said smoothly, gesturing with his hand. "I was merely...enjoying his company. Is it illegal to enjoy time with another human being, Doctor?"

Leon's face tightened. "When that time falls under the category of assault and battery, yes," he sniped.

Sephiroth shrugged and glanced away. "He was never in any true harm," he said absently.

Leon waited, but Sephiroth didn't volunteer anything further. "Why were you throwing up?" he asked instead.

"Excuse me?" Sephiroth's eyes snapped to Leon's.

"When Cloud found you in the bathroom, you were throwing up. Why?" Leon narrowed his eyes at the other man.

Sephiroth held Leon's gaze for a moment, and then looked away. "Of what concern is it to you?"

"Just answer the damn question," Leon snarled.

Sephiroth held a hand over his mouth, raising an eyebrow at Leon's tone. "I assure you it is of no concern to you."

"Yes, it is," Leon said, kicking at his desk angrily. "Every thing you do here is of concern to me. Throwing up, strangling my other patients—everything."

Sephiroth laughed. The doctor's possessive streak was amusing, especially when it was towards something that didn't even belong to him. "I see," he drawled. "If you already know that I was throwing up, then surely Cloud must have told you why as well?"

Leon started. Cloud _had_ told him why, but he didn't think Sephiroth would have called him out on it. "He neglected to mention that," he lied.

"I doubt that," Sephiroth quickly replied. "Cloud is not prone to lying." He stared hard at Leon.

Leon stared right back. It was quickly becoming apparent that he would have to change tactics. "Why do you think there are drugs in your food?" he asked instead.

Sephiroth shrugged. "Look at where I am," he commented. "A patient in a psychiatric hospital, sent here because I killed 26 people with no remorse. Why _wouldn't_ there be drugs in my food, Dr. Leonhart?"

Leon couldn't argue with Sephiroth's logic, but something about it seemed evasive. Rather than continuing to press in what was quickly becoming a purely argumentative manner, Leon decided to take the backseat. "Why did you kill all of those people, Sephiroth?"

Sephiroth's face quickly fell blank. "Because I wanted to," he answered tonelessly.

"Did you enjoy it?"

A pause. "Yes."

"Would you do it again?"

Another pause, this time longer. "Yes."

"Why did you kill Zack?"

Sephiroth seemed to withdrawn even further into himself. "It was necessary," he said.

"Why didn't you kill Cloud?"

"It wasn't necessary," he admitted with a slight hiss after a moment.

Leon's brow furrowed. It seemed like Sephiroth had struggled with that answer, and it didn't sit well with him. "Would you ever kill Cloud?" he asked cautiously.

Sephiroth's eyes became unfocused. After remaining unresponsive for more than half a minute, Leon became slightly concerned. "Sephiroth," he called out.

The man's eyes slipped over to his face, but Leon still found them to be distant. "Would you ever kill Cloud?" he asked again, growing more uncertain by the moment.

Sephiroth blinked rapidly a few times and parted his lips to speak. "No," he said slowly, "it would be too much work training a new sexual partner up to Cloud's caliber." For a moment, Leon thought Sephiroth's face seemed strained, but a smirk replaced the expression so quickly he figured he had imagined it.

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" Leon asked, hoping he wouldn't regret hearing the answer but strongly fearing he would.

Sephiroth's smirk widened. "Oh, Cloud hasn't disclosed the true nature of our relationship with you? What a shame; I always found it to be one of his greatest talents."

"Found what to be one of his greatest talents?" Leon's voice had devolved into little more than a rough growl.

Sephiroth's smirk turned into a malicious grin, and Leon immediately regretted pursuing the line of questioning. "The way he moans like a five dollar whore when I'm fucking him like a bitch," he replied silkily.

Leon froze; his blood ran cold. Before he could formulate a verbal response, Sephiroth continued.

"He didn't tell you how loved being my little bitch? How he loved calling me General while he pretended to be a cadet helpless against my abuse of authority? How he loved calling me Master as I forced him to cater to my every whim and desire? Cloud was always such a naughty boy, quite the masochist. He deserved every punishment he got from me, and he loved it. I especially enjoyed—"

"Quit it."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at Leon's tensely uttered command, but ignored it entirely. "I especially enjoyed tying him up and fucking him raw for hours on end," he mused. "The way he begs for release is the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

"_Stop it_."

"Oh, some of the most delightful memories I have of him are bending him over and fucking him on the nearest flat surface we could find. He loved taking it from behind. Much of the time it would be over a desk in an empty classroom. In fact, I can see him now, bent over your desk with my hand on the back of his neck, pants pulled down to his knees, his round, pert ass reddened from being spanked so hard. He would try to protest, claiming that anyone could walk in on us, or that we were being too loud, but his protest are all just for appearance's sake. Cloud is a filthy slut; the idea of being watched turns him on even more. I wonder, how much would he enjoy it if you were to walk in on us screwing like animals on top of your desk, Doc—"

Sephiroth's head snapped to the side as Leon's fist finally connected with his face. "Shut _up_," Leon said fiercely, his chest heaving in anger. He hadn't even noticed himself getting up out of his chair and moving towards Sephiroth. But suddenly he found himself standing over Sephiroth, his hand aching with the force of the punch he'd thrown.

Sephiroth only laughed. Softly at first, and then louder. With one hand cupped over his heavily bleeding nose, he stood up. Leon immediately took a step back, the enormity of what he'd done hitting him hard. Still laughing, Sephiroth only shook his head at the doctor and took his leave.

Leon stared at the closed door long after Sephiroth had left, wondering when exactly he'd lost the tight hold he'd always had over his emotions.

_The moment that blond walked through the door,_ his heart answered for him.

* * *

As calmly as he'd taken the punch from Leon, Sephiroth was by no means unaffected by it. He was still human, though many would protest; his face hurt like hell, and so did his heart. He'd been called heartless, emotionless, callous, cruel, unsympathetic many times over, and it still stung him a little bit each time. Contrary to public opinion of him, Sephiroth felt he understood human emotions a hundred times better than anyone else. If he didn't, then that punch wouldn't have hurt him nearly as much as it did. Sephiroth cautiously felt around his face. Nothing seemed to be broken, but there was always the chance of a hairline fracture. Either way, he would be sore for some time; he almost regretted the decision to take the haymaker he had seen coming with more than enough time to dodge. Leon had truly been blinded by his emotions.

Slumping against the wall, Sephiroth closed his eyes against the pain. He now knew why Leon had been so hostile towards him without any direct provocation. No man threw a punch that hard over the description of someone's past sexual experiences...unless they held some pretty strong feelings for that someone. He could care less about Leon's romantic intentions towards Cloud; what worried him was if Cloud reciprocated those feelings—if he was losing Cloud to that doctor.

Sephiroth scowled. He wouldn't lose Cloud, not after everything he'd gone through to be with him. He hadn't lost Cloud to _her_, and he certainly wouldn't lose him to Leon. If Leon wanted to fight over the blond, then Sephiroth would step up to the plate and easily win. Pushing himself off the wall, he continued on his trek back to his room to at least clean himself up before having someone examine his injury. With his head tilted backwards, he wasn't quite paying attention to where he was going, and as he rounded the corner, he bumped into someone. He reached out a hand to steady them. "Sorry," he muttered absently, glancing down at the person.

"S-sephiroth," Cloud stuttered, frozen in place.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. "Cloud," he said with a sigh. _Naturally._

Cloud was shocked by the bright red smeared all over Sephiroth's face and shirt. "...You're bleeding," he said intelligently.

"As I am very aware," Sephiroth replied dryly, humour lacing his voice.

Cloud shook his head and stepped back. "...I—you should get that cleaned up," he suggested, still not sure if he was really seeing what he was seeing.

"As I am also aware," Sephiroth answered patiently.

Cloud continued to stare silently at Sephiroth, who stared back with a raised eyebrow, breathing silently through his mouth. Finally, Sephiroth dropped all pretenses. "Would you...assist me in taking care of this, Cloud?" he asked, hiding his hopefulness from Cloud with a mask of indifference.

Cloud opened and closed his mouth a few times as he tried to reply. Eventually, he made up his mind. "Sure," he said weakly. For some reason, the panic he'd felt during their last encounter was entirely absent. There was something different about Sephiroth this time, something more human, more real...he was vulnerable. That was it. The overwhelming aura of confidence Sephiroth always exuded seemed muted somehow. Cloud rarely ever saw the man in such a state, but the Sephiroth standing before him was very vulnerable—and not just because of his physical injury.

"My room is just this way, if you would follow," he instructed, walking ahead of Cloud. The blond followed behind him, still somewhat dumbstruck by Sephiroth's state.

Arriving at Sephiroth's room, the silveret beckoned Cloud into his bathroom.

"You have a single, too," Cloud observed.

"Yes," Sephiroth answered with a snort, pulling his shirt over his head, "they apparently didn't deem it prudent to stick the serial killer in a room with another human being."

Cloud hid his laugh behind a cough, which Sephiroth didn't miss as he gave Cloud a gaze askance. "I'm sorry," Cloud quickly said.

"Don't be," Sephiroth said with a casual shrug. "It was a joke." He sat on the toilet and tilted his head backwards, and Cloud blushed lightly at the sight. He had forgotten how much raw beauty Sephiroth possessed, and to see it again displayed before him reignited old feelings.

"If you wouldn't mind," Sephiroth said gently, bringing Cloud out of his staring with a jolt, "grabbing a damp towel?"

Cloud nodded and searched through Sephiroth's cabinet, extracting a small hand towel and running it under the faucet. He wrung it out and stepped over to Sephiroth, his hand hovering uncertainly. "What do you want me to do?" he finally asked.

Sephiroth's eyes lazily blinked open. "If you could just clean away the blood from my face, that would be welcome," he said. "I would do it myself, but I don't quite trust my hands right now." He raised his left hand, and even without closer inspection, Cloud could see it trembling slightly. "I don't want to accidentally press too hard in the event that something is fractured," he explained.

Cloud's mouth opened slightly in shock. "Sephiroth," he started.

"Cloud," he interrupted firmly, but softly.

Cloud gave an exasperated sigh through his nose. He wrapped the cloth around his fingers and dabbed lightly at Sephiroth's face. "Tell me where it hurts," he advised. "I'll be gentle."

Sephiroth snickered loudly, bringing up a hand to cover his mouth. "Cloud," he said through his laughter, "you should know better than that."

It took Cloud a second, but soon enough a fair blush covered his cheeks. "Oh, come on—stop it," he said, knocking Sephiroth in the shoulder. The exchanged reminded him of so many times in the past when they would joke together; it made his heart ache.

"I apologize," he said, still chuckling softly. Cloud resumed his work, albeit a little more somber, his lips pressed tightly together. He cleaned off Sephiroth's cheeks first, working his way inwards. He worked as gently as he could; despite his care, every so often Sephiroth's face would contort into a slight wince.

Sephiroth's stomach did flips at the way Cloud's fingers caressed over his face, and he swallowed hard to keep from groaning. It was just like—

"_Ow_," he hissed sharply as Cloud's fingers pressed a little bit too hard on his nose. Cloud hastily withdrew, muttered apologies.

"I told you to tell me if I'm hurting you," Cloud admonished. He finished the remainder of his task with the utmost care, eyes actively scanning Sephiroth's face for any signs of pain.

"Thank you," Sephiroth said as Cloud pulled away. Sephiroth stood up and moved to the sink, examining his face in the mirror.

"Is it broken?" Cloud asked.

Sephiroth turned his face from side to side, and then shook his head. "It doesn't appear to be," he answered, "but I'll have a nurse look at it to be sure." Cloud's hand on his arm made him pause in the act of leaving the bathroom.

"Who did this, Sephiroth?" There was a note of fear in Cloud's voice that suggested he had an idea of who had done it, Sephiroth noticed.

Still, he wouldn't give the man the satisfaction of being on Cloud's mind. "It doesn't matter, Cloud," he said. "I started it."

"You're lying," Cloud said hotly.

"And what if I am?" Sephiroth replied smoothly. "Why should it matter to you?" _Why should I matter to you?_ he thought to himself, _Tell me I matter to you._

"Because I don't want you to lie to me," Cloud nearly shouted. "Because I want you to tell me the truth!"

"I have never lied to you, Cloud," Sephiroth said softly, his eyes narrowed. He hadn't. _She_ had.

"Bullshit! You're lying to me right now," Cloud cried out. "I just want the truth, Sephiroth. Is that so much to ask? Don't I deserve to know why—" Cloud choked on his words, unable to continue. He wrapped his arms around himself and looked away.

Sephiroth knew exactly what had gone unspoken, but unfortunately for both of them, he didn't have the answers Cloud sought. "Cloud—" He reached out to touch the blond, but Cloud shied away.

"Don't touch me," he said.

"Cloud," Sephiroth said, defeat lacing his voice, "even if I told you the truth, you wouldn't believe me." A sharp pain lanced through his skull; a warning that he ignored.

"Try me," Cloud challenged.

The pair stared at each other, the tense silence stretching on as the seconds passed, until Sephiroth broke his gaze, staring instead at Cloud's shoulder. "Cloud," he said so softly the blond had to lean forward to hear him, "do you still love me?"

Cloud drew in a broken breath. "W-what?"

A badly trembling hand reached up towards Cloud's face. Cloud remained still as Sephiroth's fingers gently traced over his cheek and cupped his jaw. "I still love you, Cloud," he whispered quickly, while he still had the control to do so. "I never stopped loving you, and I never will. I came here to tell you that."

Cloud's mouth worked uselessly as his eyes shone with something Sephiroth couldn't identify. "I—I..." he stammered out, before swiftly pulling away from Sephiroth and slipping past him out of the bathroom. With a soft sigh, Sephiroth waited until he heard Cloud turn the doorknob before calling out to him.

"Cloud," he said impassively, "it was Doctor Leonhart who hit me."

Cloud didn't bother replying as he left the room, slamming the door shut behind himself.

* * *

He angrily paced down the hallway, unsure of whom he was even angry with. His vision was blurry with tears he refused to let fall. Hearing those words from Sephiroth's lips simultaneously filled him with delight, confusion, and unhappiness. A part of him desperately wanted to believe that Sephiroth was telling the truth, that the Sephiroth he'd known and loved—_still_ loved—was still there, hiding somewhere behind this awful monster that had killed two of his best friends. A part of him, a large part of him, wanted to believe that Sephiroth _did_ care, that he really hadn't ever stopped loving him—that Cloud still affected him as much as he affected Cloud.

But the nightmares, the images, the blood would never erase themselves from his mind. The fact still remained that Sephiroth had done those cruel things, and never showed remorse for them. The thought brought Cloud to an abrupt halt. _Never _showed_ remorse,_ he thought again. There were a lot of emotions that Sephiroth never visibly showed. Sephiroth had even confessed to him that expression of emotions was a characteristic that he'd never quite mastered, though he'd never explained why. However, that never meant that he didn't experience them; Cloud had become quite skillful at reading Sephiroth for emotions, in fact. In the wake of his shock over Zack's death and Aerith's suicide, though, he hadn't been particularly attentive to Sephiroth's emotions, instead locking himself away much like his boyfriend tended to do. He had no way of knowing if Sephiroth truly felt remorse, not without talking to him.

"And goddammit, if fucking Leonhart thinks he's going to make things better by running around punching people in the face for no reason, he better think fucking twice," Cloud hissed under his breath, resuming his angry stalking. As he rounded the corner, he grabbed the first nurse he saw and asked, "Excuse me. Do you know where I can find Dr. Leonhart right now? It's an emergency."

The nurse seemed startled, but one look at the intense expression in his eyes had her commenting that she'd seen him heading to the cafeteria not too long ago. He thanked her and hurried for the elevator, impatiently tapping his foot as it arrived on his floor, laser-like eyes tracking its progress as it finally arrived at his destination. He rushed out of the doors as soon as they opened, startling a pair of doctors who'd been conversing just outside of them, but he paid them no mind. The only thing that he could think of was Leonhart, and how he'd hurt _his_ Sephiroth for no goddamn reason, and that there was no way he'd stand for that shit, and Leonhart was going to have to learn the hard was that just because he didn't like to talk, just because he had some issues with his past, just because he cried a little—it didn't make him a complete _pussy_.

Cloud pushed open the door to the cafeteria with a little more force than was necessary, causing it to bounce off the wall a little, and bringing the attention of everyone in the cafeteria to him. Dr. Leonhart looked over from the conversation he was having with Rinoa to see Cloud making a path straight towards him, something akin to an angry snarl on his face. He took a few steps away from Rinoa, unwilling to put her in danger in case Cloud actually was feeling violent for some reason.

"Cloud, what's—" He couldn't even finish asking what was wrong before Cloud slammed his fist into the doctor's face, sending him flying against a nearby table. The silence that fell in the cafeteria was utterly deafening as everyone stared at the two. Cloud was breathing hard from his mouth as he stared at the only person who mattered to him in that moment. "I _told_ you," he said, every word enunciated clear as day even though he spoke in a near whisper, "_not_ to _touch him._"

No one moved. It was like time had stopped in the cafeteria. Nurses and patients alike stood fascinated, either by the fact that patient #0102 had _spoken_, or by the sheer violence of his act. Leon could only hold a hand over his rapidly swelling eye and stare in shock up at the furious blond standing above him.

"Very impressive," murmured Axel from beside Nurse Rinoa, who looked horrified.

Leon broke from the spell Cloud's icy gaze had cast on him to aim a one-eyed glare at Axel, who gave him a pleasant grin in return. He quickly looked back at Cloud, and attempted to explain. "Cloud, I—"

"No excuses," Cloud said, briskly cutting him off. "You gave me your word."

Leon couldn't argue. He had promised not to harm Sephiroth, both directly to Cloud and through the Hippocratic Oath. He didn't know how Cloud found out so quickly, but the fact remained the same that he'd cold-cocked his patient.

"My office," he said in a low tone, barely able to keep his eyes focused on a spot just to the left of Cloud's face.

With his mouth set in a firm line, Cloud turned sharply on his heel, wordlessly left the cafeteria. Dr. Leonhart followed closely behind.


End file.
